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Posts Tagged apple

U.S. BRAIN MAPPING PROJECT TO BE BASED ON APPLE MAPS

U.S. BRAIN MAPPING PROJECT TO BE BASED ON APPLE MAPS

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- Apple today announced its mapping software will be used in the government’s new $100 billion brain mapping project, a decision that has already produced breakthroughs as the software shows the brain is located not inside the human skull [Read More]

iPAD 3 PURCHASE CAN INCREASE CHILD’S LOVE OF PARENTS

iPAD 3 PURCHASE CAN INCREASE CHILD’S LOVE OF PARENTS

CUPUTERINO, CA (SatireWire.com) — Children of divorce report a nearly 50 percent increase in their love for whichever parent is willing to buy them the new Apple iPad 3, according to a survey of American youth. [Read More]

JOBS CONVINCES GOD TO FOCUS ON END USER; LIFE TO IMPROVE

JOBS CONVINCES GOD TO FOCUS ON END USER; LIFE TO IMPROVE

CUPERTINO, CAL (SatireWire.com) – After just three months together, the late Steve Jobs has convinced God to focus on customer experience rather than divine adoration, a remarkable shift in deific direction that should see life improve dramatically for Earth’s 7 billion [Read More]

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CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

In the last several days I have been called everything from “flawed” to “tragically dangerous,” and it hurts. I [Read More]

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Global warming followers the world over were outraged today after the U.N. failed to [Read More]

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

“People think it’s some grand, mysterious process, but honestly it’s not,” says one Yale University admissions [Read More]

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) -- After claiming the right to seize Crimea because of its Russian heritage, President Vladimir [Read More]

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

KIEV, UKRAINE (SatireWire.com) -- Leaders from Europe and the United States today declared time was up on Russian [Read More]

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