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VENEZUELA V. IMF

Briefs in a Brief

VENEZUELA V. IMF, ROUND I
Caracas (Satirewire.com) – In the face of increasing pressure from the International Monetary Fund to get its finances in order, the Venezuelan Finance Ministry announced today it has sacrificed a small mule. No further details were released

VENEZUELA V. IMF, ROUND II
Caracas (Satirewire.com) – In reaction to yet more pressure from the International Monetary Fund, the Venezuelan Finance Ministry announced today it has rented a small volcano and is actively soliciting virgin chickens. Responded one IMF official: “I’m starting think they don’t understand our concerns.”

VENEZUELA v. IMF ROUND III
Caracas (Satirewire.com) – Following a tense, day-long meeting yesterday between the International Monetary Fund and the Venezuelan Finance Ministry, which recently have been at odds, the Ministry announced that all doors on bathroom stalls in its buildings will be removed immediately. Asked for reaction, an IMF official replied: “Maybe it’s a language problem.”

VENEZUELA v. IMF ROUND IV
Caracas (Satirewire.com) – After several fruitless meetings between International Monetary Fund officials and the Venezuelan government, IMF managing director Michel Camdessus himself flew to Caracas yesterday to confront Venezuelan Finance Minister Umberto Mondregal. The two met on the tarmac, where a beaming Mondragal thrust a four-iron into the IMF leader’s hands and whispered “Never trust a pigeon.” He then left. Said Camdessus to a colleague afterward: “Maybe they just don’t know what we do.”


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