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Vision of Greenspan Sighted in Tree

Briefs in a Brief

Eckbridge, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – Thousands of fiscally-orthodox bankers and economists gathered under a tree in this small southwestern Pennsylvania farm yesterday after three local girls claimed they saw a vision of Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan in the bark of a sycamore.

According to one of the girls, 13-year-old Ellen Anderson, the vision was surrounded by humming white bulls, and spoke to them in what the girls thought was Latin, but later turned out to be a recitation of Greenspan’s economic policy theory. Already, economists are demanding the Vatican beatify Greenspan based on the alleged miracle performed at the site.

“Before I saw the vision, I was crazy for that no-good Billy Howard boy,” said Katie Shaw, 14. “It was irrational exuberance, pure and simple, but the vision cured me by superimposing Billy’s juvenile arrest record over a chart of tightening labor market projections.”


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