Dulles, Va. (SatireWire.com) – America Online, which recently launched a membership drive offering 700 hours of free Internet access in the first month, outdid itself today by announcing that new members can now get 25 years of free Internet access during the one-month trial period.
Analysts were skeptical, noting that a month, as a general rule, lasts for 30 days. But AOL called that “myopic” marketing. “You just have to look at this positively,” said AOL spokesman Edith McCarthy. “For example, let’s say you sign up Sept. 1 and you email a picture of your new baby girl to grandma. Well, 25 absolutely free years later, which would be Sept. 30, you can email that same daughter when she finishes grad school.”
“Really, a whole lot could happen in 25 years,” McCarthy added. “Heck, you could die in 25 years. That would be like getting free Internet access for one month for life! God, this is such a great offer.”
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