DALLAS, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – In the strongest signal yet that “Internet-only” has become a verbal albatross, DotComGuy – the Texas man who lives entirely off the Internet and hasn’t left his house for nearly a year – has dropped the DotCom from his name, and now wishes to be referred to only as Guy.
According to Guy, whose one year in online self-isolation ends Jan. 1, the change more accurately reflects the true nature of his diversifying personal interests. That, and he was worried he wouldn’t get laid with a name like DotComGuy.
“Initially, having DotCom in my name heightened my status,” said Guy, who legally changed his name from Mitch Maddox to DotComGuy before entering virtual seclusion last Jan. 1. “But now it’s suddenly like I’m just some loser who is little more than a pathetic symbol of Internet hype.”
Guy denied the loser label might also refer to being a 27-year-old single male who hasn’t left his house for a year.
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