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Kozmo.com to Lay Off Staff in Under an Hour

Briefs in a Brief

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Kozmo.com, which promises quick delivery of food, music, videos and more, pledged to match the immediacy of its urban delivery service by laying off its employees in under an hour.

“Kozmo has prided itself on combining the promise of the Internet with the convenience of e-mmediate delivery,” said CEO Gerry Burdo. “That is why, going forward, we will offer a wide variety of employees, from technical to marketing to clerical, the opportunity to be laid off in less than 60 minutes.”

Burdo added that relative to its delivery service, which requires processing the order, packing it, and dispatching a courier to the customer’s location, achieving its downsizing goals will be “surprisingly” easy. We’ll say ‘Get out,’” Burdo explained.

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