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Friday December 19th 2014    Become a Fan on Facebook   Follow Us On Twitter

RADICAL MLM GROUP SAYS IT’S TAKEN HOSTAGES AND YOU CAN TOO!

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) —  A group of radical multi-level marketers claimed today it has kidnapped four hostages and you can too!

In other radical news:

A group of radical Pentagon contractors claimed today it has taken four hostages but plans to bill for six.

A group of radical anagramists claimed today it has taken four she-goats.

A group of radical environmentalists claimed today that instead of taking four hostages it has taken one hostage and plans to reuse him four times.

A group of extremely sulky radicals claimed today it has taken four of the worst hostages ever.

A group of extremely possessive radicals claimed today it has taken four hostages and wouldn’t trade them for the world.

A group of extremely radical roommates claimed today it hasn’t touched any of your damned hostages.

A group of extremely radical socialites claimed today it has taken four of the most incredible hostages really you must come meet them.

A group of radical Jewish mothers claimed today it has taken four hostages who at least listen when you talk to them.

A group of highly accommodating radicals claimed today it has taken four hostages out to lunch.

A group of radical magicians claimed today it has taken four people from the audience completely at random and turned them into hostages.

A group of extremely dependent radicals claimed today it has taken four hostages and already can’t imagine life without them.

A group of radical cable company installers claimed today it has taken somewhere between one and six hostages.

A group of radical New York Jets coaches claimed today it has taken four hostages and will try them all at quarterback what the hell it couldn’t get any worse.

A group of radical exasperated schoolteachers claimed today its taken just about enough from its four hostages thank you very much.

A group of radical Bush administration officials claimed today it has taken four hostages because Dick Cheney needs someone to play with.

A group of radical auto mechanics claimed today it will take at least six hours labor to even get to look at its hostages but either way you’re going to have to replace your timing belt.

A group of radical mortgage company executives claimed today it prefers the term “customers” to “hostages.”

A group of radical airline executives claimed today it has taken four hostages and put them in the equivalent of two seats.

A group of obsessive-compulsive radicals claimed today it has taken four hostages but just to make sure they’ll count again.

A group of extremely spoiled radicals claimed today it has taken four hostages for granted.

A group of extremely busy radicals claimed today it can’t possibly take on any new hostages at this time.

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