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Dean Witter to Measure Success By Tracking Revenues, Expenses

Briefs in a BriefWashington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After a three-year battle, the Securities & Exchange Commission today ordered brokerage firm Morgan Stanley Dean Witter to stop measuring success “one investor at a time,” and instead measure success by calculating revenues and expenses like everybody else.

“Most companies disclose assets, liabilities, earnings per share, etc. It’s really pretty standard,” said acting S.E.C. Commissioner Laura Simone Unger. “But Dean Witter’s filings just listed its investors: Abbey, Mark L.; Abrams, Rachel F; Abromowitz, Harold W… What the hell were we supposed to do with that?”

MSDW said it would abide by the ruling. In a separate statement, the company announced it would likely fall short of analyst estimates for the second quarter of 2001, primarily due to Cicorelli, Janine R.; Mondale, Peter L., and Waldman, Henry C.


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