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Mullah Omar Apparently Fuzzy on the “We” Thing

Briefs in a Brief

Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – Declaring “We are ready to face these Americans,” well-hidden Taliban leader Mullah Omar urged his followers to “fight to the death” on Wednesday in statements that led many Taliban soldiers to question whether Omar really understood the meaning of “we.”

“I don’t know, to me, when you say We, it seems like that should mean all of us. You know, me, the other soldiers… him,” said 22-year-old Saudi Salaam Rabdul as U.S. fighter jets strafed his hilltop lookout. “But there’s no him here. Only me and the other soldiers.”

Omar’s comments, broadcast from his secure bunker via radio to his commanders, also included the Mullah’s assertion that, “We are happy that they have landed here and we will teach them a lesson.”

“You see, like that right there. We are happy they’re here. We will teach them a lesson,” Rabdul added. “OK, personal pronouns can be confusing, but I’m not happy they’re here, and linguistically, I is part of We, at least where I grew up.”

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