ATTENTION ALL INTERNET USERS OF THE WORLD:
Everyone who DOESN’T want to make the Internet an exclusive club called the All Internet Surf and Browser Club – a club that would keep the Internet cool by basically keeping anyone not now online from ever getting on – please email me by midnight tonight. Also, if you don’t want Marc Hall to be the Chairman of the AISBC, note that in your email. Thanks
And also, if you don’t want Rob Bates to be the chairman of the Membership Committee, also note that in your email. Thanks
Oh, and also also, if you don’t think Rob is like the absolute coolest human ever, note that in your email.
That’s just stupid, Rob. Why do you have to do shit like that?
And if you don’t think Limp Bizkit is band of the millenium, note that too.
Let’s stick to the club thing, all right?
You’re just jealous cause I get to be coolest human.
Right. Like I’m jealous of you. Who’s gonna be chairman of the club, me or you?
How’d we decide on that, anyway? How come I’m not chairman?
Cause you’re an idiot, and it’s my web site. Speaking of which, maybe I’ll change the password to my server so you can’t get in.
Big whoop. I’ll hack it.
You couldn’t hack a garage door opener. I’m changing the password.
You do and I’ll vote no on your stupid club.
You vote no and you’ll be on the outside looking in, pal. I’ll blackball you if you so much as put your name on the waiting list.
You do and I’ll… hey wait, what time is it?
It’s 12:01 a.m., why?
You get any emails?
No… holy shit, no emails! It’s unanimous! The All Internet Surf and Browser Club is a reality!
So, how’s it feel to be chairman of the most coveted club on the friggin’ planet?
Pretty good. How’s it feel to be head of the Membership Committee of the most coveted club on the friggin’ planet?
Pretty good, but…
But not as good as it feels to be elected the ABSOLUTE COOLEST HUMAN ON THE FRIGGIN’ PLANET!
That’s it, I’m changing the password.
Limp Bizkit rules!
May 5, 2009