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“HACKERS-FOR-NADER” DELIVER SURPRISE VICTORY

Group’s ‘Get Out and Change the Vote’ Campaign Influences Dozens of Races

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Oval Office was snatched away from Al Gore and George W. Bush Wednesday when the International Brotherhood of Computer Hackers, urging its members to “Get Out and Change the Vote,” endorsed Ralph Nader for president, leading the Green Party candidate to a post-election landslide victory.

While exit polls had Nader winning only 3 percent of the popular vote, the hacker group’s campaign proved remarkably effective, as election computers gave the well-known consumer advocate a record 96 percent of the ballots – or 93 million votes. Vice President Gore won 3 percent, and Texas Gov. Bush, initially assumed to be the winner, took minus-3 percent, had $50,000 charged to his credit cards, and had his middle named changed to “Abby.”

Across the nation, election officials were baffled. In Ontonagon, Mich., town clerk Casandra Dortmund said she counted the votes before sending the tally to the state, and recalled that Nader received only 18 of the 1,775 votes. But according to the state computer, Nader got 1,769 votes from Ontonagon, while Bush and Gore split the other six. “I guess some of the voters changed their minds after they voted,” Dortmund said.

In response, an IBCH spokesman said the group was “particularly strong” in Michigan.

Several high-profile Senate races were also heavily influenced by late IBCH endorsements:

¤ In the New York race Hillary Clinton’s victory over Rick Lazio was negated as Matrix co-directors Andy and Larry Wachowski won easily. Neither Wachowski was on the initial ballot.

¤ In Virginia, George Allen and Chuck Robb were handily defeated by “That ’70s Show” character Steve Hyde, Eric’s cool and serious friend who pretends to be tough, but inside is a good guy.

¤ In Nebraska, a tight race between Democrat Ben Nelson and Republic Don Stenberg never materialized, as both candidates were disqualified when their birth records showed the two were born last April in Kobe, Japan.

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