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Friday September 19th 2014    Become a Fan on Facebook   Follow Us On Twitter

SOMEDAY, WE’LL ALL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH IN A DERISIVELY BITTER, DISILLUSIONED WAY

Sardonic, Resentful Laughter Awaits Dotcommers Who Let Go Anger, Says Report

Palo Alto, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Whether you’ve lost your job at a dotcom or your money investing in one,  business psychologists at Stanford University say most people will not only overcome the trauma, but one day will look back on the whole thing and laugh, in a really bitter, disillusioned, and frighteningly unstable way.

I feel so much better

“Some of my patients are still so upset about the time and money they’ve wasted that they don’t believe me,” said Stanford psychologist Jane Connell-Coombs, who co-authored a study on the subject. “But the truth is, at some point – five, 10, even 20 years from now – they’ll finally be able to put the whole absurd experience in perspective, and when they do, I think they’ll find themselves laughing.”

“In a very caustic, resentful, and emotionally aggressive manner,” she added.

The report, entitled, Healing the Net: From Anger to Denial to Acceptance to Uncomfortably Sarcastic Laughter, notes that the swift decline in the New Economy has left millions of individuals feeling victimized, even those who knowingly took financial or career risks. As a result, said report co-author Dr. Kenneth Gallsbreath, “We’ve got too many people carrying all this emotional baggage.”

“Trite as it sounds, laughter really is the best medicine for it,” he said, “and in regards to the dotcom buildup and fallout, I think it very likely that those involved will eventually laugh about it in such a way that parents cover their childrens’ eyes as they pass you by.”

While the healing process varies by individual, some ex-dotcommers claim they have already gained that coveted sense of perspective that allows them to recall with a smile the follies and foibles of the bubble years.

“I used to get really upset about it, the way I put my heart and soul into the business, and then watched the people who ran it screw it all up until I lost my job and now I’m working for Walgreen’s as an assistant store manager,” said Craig MacMarch, who was laid off from AltaVista six months ago. “But with time comes healing, and now, when I’m arguing with some pimply Procter & Gamble junior sales rep about end-cap display placement for his stupid orange-flavored throat drops, I’m able to just shake my head and laugh.”

“Ha! Ha! Ha!” MacMarch said. “Wow, that feels better. It’s almost as if the 80-hour workweeks and the worthless stock options and the firing and the four months of unemployment never fucking happened.”

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