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	<title>SatireWire &#124; dot.com.edy &#187; mitt romney</title>
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		<title>PAUL RYAN SUDDENLY REAL BUSY WHENEVER MITT ROMNEY CALLS</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4477</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4477#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Nov 2012 14:44:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election aftermath]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[future of the republican party]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[paul ryan]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Paul Ryan hasn’t returned Mitt Romney’s phone calls since the election because he’s probably so busy catching up with work, according to the defeated GOP presidential candidate, who said it’s cool he’ll just, you know, maybe call another time or drop by Ryan’s house, although he has tried that several times but Ryan must not have been home or something. ]]></description>
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		<title>AMERICANS VOTE TO CONTINUE BANGING HEAD AGAINST WALL</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4461</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4461#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Nov 2012 17:43:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barack obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election results]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fiscal cliff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[presidential vote]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- After years of banging their heads against a wall in frustration over the inability of the White House and Congress to work together, Americans went to the polls Tuesday and voted overwhelmingly to continue banging their heads against a wall.]]></description>
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		<title>ROMNEY, IN DRAG, DENIES HE HAS TACKED TOO FAR LEFT</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4374</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4374#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Oct 2012 18:59:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barack obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pandering]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[paul ryan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[presidential election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[romney ryan]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[SAN FRANCISCO (SatireWire.com) – In a spirited stump speech today, Mitt Romney denied he has changed positions or tacked to the left, although observers couldn’t help but notice the Governor was dressed in drag and wore a rainbow-colored U.S. lapel pin.]]></description>
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		<title>OBAMA LOSES DEBATE; ALSO ANY HOPE FOR ANNIVERSARY SEX</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4307</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4307#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Oct 2012 15:38:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barack obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[debate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[debate 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obama romney debate]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[DENVER, CO. (SatireWire.com) – Following his weak showing in Wednesday’s debate with Mitt Romney, President Obama’s 20th wedding anniversary ended in further disappointment as sources say the First Lady refused to have anniversary sex with, “a man who has clearly lost his balls.” ]]></description>
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		<title>ROMNEY RACKING UP INDIFFERENDORSEMENTS</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4211</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4211#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Apr 2012 17:29:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[david souter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[endorsements]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitch mcconnell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rick santorum]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Rallying around Mitt Romney in much the same way suicide jumpers rally around the ground, Republican heavyweights have continued to endorse the “inevitable” GOP presidential candidate by using such superlatives as “yeah,” “(let’s) face it,” and “whatever."]]></description>
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		<title>CONSERVATIVE ROMNEY PICKS MODERATE ROMNEY FOR V.P.</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4161</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4161#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Apr 2012 19:22:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012 election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flip flopper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rick santorum]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[MADISON, WI. (SatireWire.com) -- In a move to “keep his enemies close” while also attracting independent voters, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Severely Conservative Mitt Romney today announced he will choose arch nemesis Moderate Mitt Romney as his running mate.]]></description>
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		<title>OBAMA CONDEMNED FOR SLEEPING LAST NIGHT</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3921</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3921#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:50:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012 election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barack obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitch mcconnell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reince priebus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rick santorum]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3921</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a gaffe that may cost Barack Obama the election, the White House today admitted the President slept last night, a revelation that outraged Republicans who questioned how anyone could sleep "while America suffers."]]></description>
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		<title>OBAMA SERIOUSLY STARTING TO THINK GOP ISN&#8217;T EVEN TRYING</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3850</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3850#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:43:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012 election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barack obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gop primary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[herman cain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[santorum]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3850</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON (SatireWire.com) – With yet another flawed front-runner taking the lead in a GOP campaign seemingly bent on self-destruction, President Obama today privately told friends he is starting to think the Republicans aren’t even trying.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>CAMPAIGN-BASED CONCUSSIONS ON THE RISE</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3739</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3739#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:45:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012 election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barack obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[primary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sanjay gupta]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3739</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- Campaign-based concussions have risen 120 percent in the last month as voters across the country are repeatedly banging their heads in frustration against walls, countertops, or the nearest available hard object, the CDC reported today.]]></description>
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		<title>SOLAR STORM SHUTS DOWN MITT ROMNEY</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3720</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3720#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:50:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[solar storms]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3720</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[JACKSONVILLE, FL (SatireWire.com) – The massive solar radiation storm that struck Earth yesterday disrupted radio communications, knocked out satellite and computer systems, and shut down Mitt Romney for more than six hours.]]></description>
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