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	<title>SatireWire &#124; dot.com.edy &#187; apple</title>
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		<title>U.S. BRAIN MAPPING PROJECT TO BE BASED ON APPLE MAPS</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4927</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:54:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- Apple today announced its mapping software will be used in the government’s new $100 billion brain mapping project, a decision that has already produced breakthroughs as the software shows the brain is located not inside the human skull as previously thought, but is instead just off the Belt Parkway in Queens. ]]></description>
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		<title>iPAD 3 PURCHASE CAN INCREASE CHILD’S LOVE OF PARENTS</title>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Mar 2012 16:29:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[CUPUTERINO, CA (SatireWire.com) — Children of divorce report a nearly 50 percent increase in their love for whichever parent is willing to buy them the new Apple iPad 3, according to a survey of American youth.]]></description>
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		<title>JOBS CONVINCES GOD TO FOCUS ON END USER; LIFE TO IMPROVE</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3588</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Jan 2012 16:18:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[CUPERTINO, CAL (SatireWire.com) – After just three months together, the late Steve Jobs has convinced God to focus on customer experience rather than divine adoration, a remarkable shift in deific direction that should see life improve dramatically for Earth’s 7 billion end users.]]></description>
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