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		<title>‘ARAB SPRING’ IS SOOO OVER. THE &#8216;ARAB SUMMER&#8217; FASHION FORECAST</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3018</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 20 May 2011 19:26:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[The Arab Spring was all vibrant colors, fabulous youth, and self-expression. But that was sooo last season. Arab Summer is on the way, and our geopolitical design forecasters say it may feel less like Benetton and more like Ann Taylor. <i>Sacreblech!</i>]]></description>
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		<title>OPRAH LAUNCHES “O2: THE OPRAH WINFREY SISTER”</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Jan 2011 18:38:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- Oprah Winfrey, host of the Oprah Winfrey Show, chairman of the Oprah Winfrey Network, and founder of O: The Oprah Magazine, today announced her long-lost sister Patricia has agreed to be called O2: The Oprah Winfrey Sister.]]></description>
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		<title>ARIZONA ACCUSED OF &#8216;TRAGEDIZING&#8217; POLITICS</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=2527</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Jan 2011 21:13:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[TUCSON, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- Accusing the Arizona shootings of callously "tragedizing" politics, hundreds of media pundits gathered in this stricken city today in a vigil for shallow partisanship and angry rhetoric, which they said have been victimized by the horrific event.]]></description>
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		<title>FACEBOOK SURPASSES MASTURBATION</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=2445</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Dec 2010 00:39:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[PALO ALTO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In yet another sign of its growing dominance, Facebook today announced it has surpassed masturbation as the world’s most popular way to kill 10 minutes.]]></description>
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		<title>‘ISH’ FROM ENGLISH SECRETLY REPLACED BY ‘ISH’ FROM SPANISH</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=2369</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Dec 2010 23:52:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[PHOENIX, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- The ‘ish’ in the word English has been secretly replaced by the ‘ish’ from the word Spanish, according to anti-immigration groups who claim it is part of the “relentless campaign to de-Anglicize America.”]]></description>
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		<title>ELATED MCCAIN KISSES GENERALS AFTER TESTIMONY</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=2352</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Dec 2010 22:22:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Three of the four U.S. armed service chiefs told lawmakers Friday they opposed an immediate repeal of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,’ but their testimony was cut short when repeal opponent Sen. John McCain, seemingly overjoyed with their statements, leapt the dais and kissed each of the generals squarely on the mouth. ]]></description>
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		<title>POPE TO GET MITRE RIBBED</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=2190</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Nov 2010 21:09:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[VATICAN CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In the second revelation in as many days, Pope Benedict XVI announced today he not only supports condom use, but intends to promote the cause by getting his mitre ribbed.]]></description>
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		<title>AIRPORT SCREENERS NOT THRILLED ABOUT TOUCHING YOU EITHER</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=2021</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Nov 2010 19:12:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[SAN DIEGO (SatireWire.com) -- Caught up in a privacy firestorm already immortalized by the phrase ‘Don’t touch my junk,’ airport screeners today pointed out that they’re not exactly thrilled to have to touch most of you, either.]]></description>
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		<title>HISTORY MADE AS PASSENGERS RETURN FROM CRUISE LIGHTER</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=1934</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Nov 2010 18:46:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[SAN DIEGO (SatireWire.com) -- After two harrowing days without an all-you-can-eat buffet, nearly 4,500 people stranded on a Carnival Cruise ship arrived in San Diego today, marking the first time passengers have ever returned from a cruise weighing less than when they left.]]></description>
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		<title>AMERICANS NOT SURE THEY HAVE ENOUGH EXTRA HATE TO DEAL WITH BUSH JUST NOW</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=1924</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Nov 2010 19:11:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- George W. Bush has resurfaced to promote his new book “Decision Points,” but Americans say their hatred for political parties, the media, Wall Street, BP, the economy, tax cuts, Lady Gaga, and Newt Gingrich has left them with no room to get properly angry with anyone else and have asked the former president to please come back later.]]></description>
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