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	<title>SatireWire &#124; dot.com.edy &#187; Authority</title>
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		<title>U.S. DIPLOMAT EXPLAINS WHY SYRIAN CIVILIANS MUST KEEP DYING</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5428</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:16:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bashar al-assad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chemical weapons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[putin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[russia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sarin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[syria]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[u.s. russia agreement]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[(SatireWire.com) – U.S. State Department transcript of a cell phone call between Palmer Greavey, Under Deputy Secretary for the Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Deputy Undersecretary of State for Middle Eastern Affairs, and a 29-year-old civilian identified as Hassam.]]></description>
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		<title>ARIEL CASTRO HANGS SELF AFTER NOT GETTING ‘50 SHADES’ LEAD</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5419</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5419#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Sep 2013 14:55:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[50 shades of grey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ariel castro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Charlie Hunnam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christian grey]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CLEVELAND, OHIO (SatireWire.com) -- Convicted kidnapper and sexual abuser Ariel Castro hanged himself in his prison cell late Tuesday only hours after learning he had failed to land the leading role in the film adaptation of bondage novel, ‘50 Shades of Grey’.]]></description>
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		<title>RADICAL ANAGRAMISTS HOLD SHE-GOATS FOR RANSOM</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5386</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5386#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Jul 2013 19:40:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anagrams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hostage]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[SHAGWINTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A group of radical anagramists today claimed it has taken four she-goats and demanded $1 million in omen masonry payable in small, kind umbrellas.]]></description>
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		<title>ARK. TOWN SETS UP MEMORIAL FUND FOR PENDING SCHOOL SHOOTING</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5378</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5378#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Jul 2013 20:14:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[armed teachers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clarskville]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guns in school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school shootings]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CLARKSVILLE, ARK. (SatireWire.com) – After deciding to arm teachers and staff to head off the theoretical threat of a school gunman, the town of Clarksville, Ark., has taken the next logical proactive step by setting up a memorial fund for those killed when one of the teachers or staff either loses control or accidentally shoots someone.]]></description>
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		<title>WEINER DEBACLE SPARKS NATIONAL PENIS-CONTROL DEBATE</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5363</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5363#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:49:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anthony weiner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cold dead hands]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gun control]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The Anthony Weiner sexting scandal has ignited a heated debate over penis control as advocates demand regulations to reduce penis-related offences, while pro-penis groups fight to protect their groin-given rights.]]></description>
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		<title>DEATH MOVING OUT OF DEATH VALLEY; “TOO HOT HERE”</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5338</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5338#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Jul 2013 06:14:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death valley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grim reaper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heat wave]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[record heat]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[DEATH VALLEY, CA (SatireWire.com) -- Enduring record-setting heat yet again over the weekend, Death today announced he will be moving out of his namesake Death Valley, where he said it was “much too hot” to even think straight, not to mention coordinate the demise of 150,000 humans every day.]]></description>
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		<title>AMERICANS DIVIDED OVER HOW THEY WANT SNOWDEN MOVIE TO END</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5297</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5297#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Jun 2013 17:59:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Edward Snowden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leaker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moscow airport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nsa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[whistleblower]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. continues to be deeply divided over the fate of Edward Snowden as a new poll shows 38 percent of Americans believe the NSA leaker is a traitor who should die in spectacular fashion and not get the girl, while 46 percent think he is a hero who should escape into the Ecuadorian jungle with Eva Mendes or Zoe Saldana.]]></description>
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		<title>U.S.: IF EVERYONE IS BEING SPIED ON, THEN NO ONE IS BEING SPIED ON</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5289</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5289#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:07:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Edward Snowden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nsa]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[white house leaks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wire tapping]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Wielding the tautological argument, “If everyone is special, then no one is special,” the White House today said the government is not technically spying on anyone because it is spying on everyone. ]]></description>
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		<title>ARMY TO HOLD BEER SUMMITS WITH ASSAULT VICTIMS, ATTACKERS</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5259</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5259#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 16:04:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[military sexual harassment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pentagon]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Conceding their “Miss Pentagon” contest idea was not the best way to defuse sexism in the ranks, U.S. Army officials today said they will instead organize a series of “beer summits” between female victims of sexual harassment and their male antagonists.]]></description>
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		<title>MILITARY TO BOOST FEMALE MORALE WITH MISS PENTAGON CONTEST</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5247</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5247#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 20:06:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[army sex scandal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[military sexual harassment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pentagon scandal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual abuse in the military]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to address rampant sexual harassment in the armed forces, U.S. military commanders today announced they will hold a “Miss Pentagon” contest to boost the morale and standing of female soldiers. ]]></description>
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