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	<title>SatireWire &#124; dot.com.edy</title>
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		<title>IN THE LAIR OF GENITAL QAEDA: LIFE IN AN UNDERWEAR BOMBER CAMP</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4230</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4230#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 May 2012 15:53:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[al qaeda]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terrorism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[underwear bomber]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[YEMEN (SatireWire.com) -- The days are long, the training merciless, the mission terrifying. And in the end, if you’re very, very successful, your groin explodes. Such is the short, painful life of the underwear bomber.]]></description>
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		<title>UNIVERSITIES OFFER NEW “BACHELOR OF WHATEVER” DEGREE</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4225</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4225#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 May 2012 19:04:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college graduate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[employment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unemployment rate for college grads]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Sensitive to claims they no longer prepare students for the real world, universities across the country today unveiled a new type of degree – the Bachelor of Whatever (B.W.), where students select their own courses, track their own progress, test and grade themselves, graduate Magna Cum Laude, and whatever it doesn’t matter there aren’t any jobs.]]></description>
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		<title>ROMNEY RACKING UP INDIFFERENDORSEMENTS</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4211</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4211#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Apr 2012 17:29:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[david souter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[endorsements]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitch mcconnell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rick santorum]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Rallying around Mitt Romney in much the same way suicide jumpers rally around the ground, Republican heavyweights have continued to endorse the “inevitable” GOP presidential candidate by using such superlatives as “yeah,” “(let’s) face it,” and “whatever."]]></description>
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		<title>N. KOREA APPARENTLY PLANS TO LITTER WORLD INTO SUBMISSION</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4205</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4205#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Apr 2012 04:06:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[missile launch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[north korea]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nuclear program]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rocket launch]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[PYONGYANG (SatireWire.com) -- North Korea on Thursday launched what appears to be a new type of disintegrating missile that officials warn could pose a significant threat to any nation other than the one it’s pointed at.]]></description>
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		<title>FLORIDA CLOSED FOR MENTAL REPAIRS</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4193</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4193#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:42:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[florida]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stand your ground]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strangest state]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weirdest state]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ORLANDO, FL (SatireWire.com) -- The state of Florida will be closed for mental repairs until further notice, the National Institutes of Health announced today. ]]></description>
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		<title>HIGH SCIENTISTS INSIST EARTH IS DEPICTED UPSIDE DOWN MAYBE</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4171</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4171#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Apr 2012 01:18:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sci/Tech]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Earth Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Earth upside down]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[geology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stoned scientists]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[AMSTERDAM (SatireWire.com) -- A team of extremely high astrophysicists revealed today that mankind has for millenia incorrectly depicted Earth upside down, a stunning development that means everyone traveling right now is going in the wrong direction.]]></description>
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		<title>CONSERVATIVE ROMNEY PICKS MODERATE ROMNEY FOR V.P.</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4161</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4161#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Apr 2012 19:22:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012 election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flip flopper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rick santorum]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[MADISON, WI. (SatireWire.com) -- In a move to “keep his enemies close” while also attracting independent voters, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Severely Conservative Mitt Romney today announced he will choose arch nemesis Moderate Mitt Romney as his running mate.]]></description>
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		<title>U.S. BOSSES BRACING TO BE TOLD TO FUCK OFF BY LOTTERY WINNER</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4150</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4150#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Mar 2012 21:12:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mega millions]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- As Americans turn out in droves to purchase tickets for Friday’s $640 million lottery drawing, the nation’s managers, supervisors, and administrators are bracing themselves for someone to walk through their door Monday morning and tell them to fuck off.]]></description>
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		<title>CHENEY’S HEART TO GET MEDAL FOR TRYING TO RID WORLD OF CHENEY</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4142</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4142#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Mar 2012 04:54:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dick cheney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heart transplant]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4142</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FALLS CHURCH, VA (SatireWire.com) &#8212; The original heart of former Vice President Dick Cheney will receive the nation’s highest honor – the Presidential Medal of Freedom – for its lifelong attempts to rid of the world of former Vice President Dick Cheney. The Republican icon, 71, received a heart transplant Saturday night, effectively putting an [...]]]></description>
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		<title>DISNEY CHARACTERS CAN LEGALLY BE SHOT UNDER FLORIDA LAW</title>
		<link>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4092</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4092#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Mar 2012 15:01:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authority]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homepage]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ORLANDO, FL (SatireWire.com) — A Florida court today ruled that under the state’s “Stand Your Ground” law, which allows people who feel threatened to use deadly force, the life-sized characters at Disney World can legally be shot because they’re frightening and creepy.]]></description>
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