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AMERICANS THROW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- American voters sent a strong signal to Washington on Tuesday, overturning Congress and effectively “tossing out the bums” who, in 2006 and 2008, threw out the previous bums who, in 2000, threw out the previous bums who, in 1996, [Read More]
ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”
OVERLAND PARK, KAN. (SatireWire.com) -- “Sarcastic Sidelines” is back – the annual youth soccer weekend where the incessant gripes, jeers, and screams of parents make way for ironic applause, back-handed compliments, and absolutely insincere encouragement. [Read More]
FRENCH STRIKES TO END AS PROTESTERS FORM UNION, TAKE MANDATED VACATION
Paris (SatireWire.com) – Strikes that have rocked France for more than a month will abruptly end tomorrow as protesters announced they have all joined a protesters union and will immediately take the five-week vacation plus 20 sick days mandated in their contract. [Read More]
SOLDIERS HOARD GUNS, SHIPS IN FACE OF DEFENSE CUTS
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Fear of massive defense budget cuts caused a panic on U.S. military bases around the globe today as soldiers, sailors and marines rushed to clear shelves of everything from howitzers to Knighthawk helicopters. “This isn’t looting, [Read More]
BAD PLANET! JUPITER DOING SOMETHING WRONG
Out There (SatireWire.com) - For the second time in a week, humanity watched in fear and awe as a mysterious arm, estimated to be some 3 million light years across, once again appeared to part the black fabric of space, point an angry finger directly at Jupiter, and shout, [Read More]
THE SOU’WESTER ALLIANCE: AFGHANISTAN’S FORGOTTEN WARRIORS
ZARANJ, AFGHANISTAN (SatireWire.com) -- As the dust and smoke of battle settled across Afghanistan, all eyes turned to the triumphant Northern and Eastern alliances, but there is another courageous Afghani confederation whose contributions have been all but lost in the [Read More]
STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY
Cambridge, Mass. (SatireWire.com) -- According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than women who do not consume alcohol. The report also found that women [Read More]
STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES
Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead attack places they've actually heard of, such as France, [Read More]
REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT
El Paso, Texas (SatireWire.com) -- Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 10,000 remaining unincarcerated CEOs of U.S. public companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing [Read More]
OY, YOU NEVER VISIT YOUR MOTHER’S WEB SITE
Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) -- I'm thinking of divorcing your father. Oh, you didn't know that, Mr. I-have-no-time-for-the-woman-who-bore-me-and-taught-me-HTML? Well, if you ever bothered to drop by your mother's web site, just once in a while, spare just a few of your [Read More]
