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FOX BLASTS OBAMA FOR LANDING ABORTION

FOX BLASTS OBAMA FOR LANDING ABORTION

ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE, MD (SatireWire) -- A plane carrying First Lady Michelle Obama had to abort its landing Monday, quickly drawing fire from Fox News and Right to Land groups who said they believe landing begins at descent. [Read More]

REDDIT-BASED UPRISING DOWN-VOTED

REDDIT-BASED UPRISING DOWN-VOTED

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA (SatireWire.com) -- Cut off from Twitter and Facebook, protesters in Saudi Arabia yesterday turned to social news website Reddit to organize an uprising, but failed after their call for revolt was down-voted. [Read More]

CONTROLLERS: ‘PILOTS PUT US TO SLEEP’

CONTROLLERS: ‘PILOTS PUT US TO SLEEP’

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Beleaguered air traffic controllers went on the offensive today, accusing pilots of purposely putting them to sleep by constantly speaking in that low-level, monotone mumble. [Read More]

HEROIC OIL COMPANIES OFFER TO FLY LIBYAN OIL TO SAFETY

HEROIC OIL COMPANIES OFFER TO FLY LIBYAN OIL TO SAFETY

TRIPOLI (SatireWire.com) – As chaos mounts in Libya, concerned petroleum firms across the globe have made a courageous pledge to fly all of Libya’s oil to safety. [Read More]

CHARLIE SHEEN TO HELP ARABS TAKE FREEDOM TO ‘NEXT LEVEL’

CHARLIE SHEEN TO HELP ARABS TAKE FREEDOM TO ‘NEXT LEVEL’

CAIRO (SatireWire.com) – Pledging to help the Arab world take freedom “to the next level,” actor Charlie Sheen flew to the Middle East today with 650 tons of cocaine and 4,000 hookers. [Read More]

‘SNOW BLOWERS’ – SUBURBAN GANGS ADD NEW THREAT TO WINTER

‘SNOW BLOWERS’ – SUBURBAN GANGS ADD NEW THREAT TO WINTER

HAMDEN, CT (SatireWire.com) – For 33-year-old Kevin Embree, it was the moment he realized his quiet Connecticut neighborhood was out of control. “I’m shoveling my driveway on Tuesday,” he recalled, “and five of my neighbors, pushing snow blowers, come up to me, [Read More]

BIPARTISAN DATES: THE MORNING AFTER

BIPARTISAN DATES: THE MORNING AFTER

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – They went together, as bipartisan dates, to President Obama’s State of the Union address. It didn’t always work out, but at least one happy pair saw the sunrise together. We sat down with nine couples on the morning after. [Read More]

OPRAH LAUNCHES “O2: THE OPRAH WINFREY SISTER”

OPRAH LAUNCHES “O2: THE OPRAH WINFREY SISTER”

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- Oprah Winfrey, host of the Oprah Winfrey Show, chairman of the Oprah Winfrey Network, and founder of O: The Oprah Magazine, today announced her long-lost sister Patricia has agreed to be called O2: The Oprah Winfrey Sister. [Read More]

U.S. TO SELL OFF UNDERPERFORMING STATES

U.S. TO SELL OFF UNDERPERFORMING STATES

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Yielding to economic pressure, the U.S. will sell off 11 underperforming states by the end of the year, the White House announced today. [Read More]

U.S. APOLOGIZES FOR BIDEN’S ‘HU’S ON FIRST’ ROUTINE

U.S. APOLOGIZES FOR BIDEN’S ‘HU’S ON FIRST’ ROUTINE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The United States formally apologized to China today for the behavior of Vice President Joe Biden, who spent nearly an hour prior to Wednesday's state dinner trying to make President Hu Jintao take part in a “Hu’s on first” [Read More]

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Latest Topics

ALTERNATIVE PUERTO RICO THRIVING AFTER HURRICANE MARIA

ALTERNATIVE PUERTO RICO THRIVING AFTER HURRICANE MARIA

White House officials today said President Trump’s claim that his handling of Hurricane Maria was a “tremendous [Read More]

MORNING SHOW ‘FUCK NO, TALLAHASSEE’ TOPS TV RATINGS

MORNING SHOW ‘FUCK NO, TALLAHASSEE’ TOPS TV RATINGS

Just a month after changing its name from ‘Good Day, Tallahassee’ to ‘Fuck No, Tallahassee,’ WFPE’s early [Read More]

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

PRES. TRUMP: We’ll call ‘em cinderbacks. Or wetbricks. SESSIONS: We can poll the base to see which makes them [Read More]

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to keep Russia from interfering with democracy, the Trump administration today [Read More]

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

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