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TIGER WOODS IS A TWIT(TER)

TIGER WOODS IS A TWIT(TER)

WINDEREMERE, FL (SatireWire.com) -- His reputation destroyed by addictions to sex and himself, Tiger Woods began using his Twitter account today, his advisors hoping a chatty, down-to-earth persona will somehow make people forget he's Tiger Woods. What follows is the [Read More]

FUTURE QUEEN LOOKS FORWARD TO DESCENDING INTO LUNACY

FUTURE QUEEN LOOKS FORWARD TO DESCENDING INTO LUNACY

LONDON (SatireWire.com) – In the first interview since her engagement to Prince William, presumptive Queen Consort Kate Middleton said today she looks forward to becoming a full-fledged member of the British royal family by going insane. [Read More]

AIRPORT SCREENERS NOT THRILLED ABOUT TOUCHING YOU EITHER

AIRPORT SCREENERS NOT THRILLED ABOUT TOUCHING YOU EITHER

SAN DIEGO (SatireWire.com) -- Caught up in a privacy firestorm already immortalized by the phrase ‘Don’t touch my junk,’ airport screeners today pointed out that they’re not exactly thrilled to have to touch most of you, either. [Read More]

CONGRESS VOWS TO INCREASE AMERICA’S PAIN

CONGRESS VOWS TO INCREASE AMERICA’S PAIN

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) - With economists and the media clamoring for immediate and painful deficit solutions, Congress today suggested that Americans stick forks in their eyes and rip out their own fingernails. [Read More]

N. KOREA WARNED WITH RANDOM U.S. MISSILES

N. KOREA WARNED WITH RANDOM U.S. MISSILES

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA (SatireWire.com) -- In an unusually provocative and candid speech, President Barack Obama today demanded that North Korea abandon its nuclear program, warning the secretive nation, “Don’t fuck with us. We have missiles and shit that just go off on [Read More]

HISTORY MADE AS PASSENGERS RETURN FROM CRUISE LIGHTER

HISTORY MADE AS PASSENGERS RETURN FROM CRUISE LIGHTER

SAN DIEGO (SatireWire.com) -- After two harrowing days without an all-you-can-eat buffet, nearly 4,500 people stranded on a Carnival Cruise ship arrived in San Diego today, marking the first time passengers have ever returned from a cruise weighing less than when they left. [Read More]

AMERICANS NOT SURE THEY HAVE ENOUGH EXTRA HATE TO DEAL WITH BUSH JUST NOW

AMERICANS NOT SURE THEY HAVE ENOUGH EXTRA HATE TO DEAL WITH BUSH JUST NOW

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- George W. Bush has resurfaced to promote his new book “Decision Points,” but Americans say their hatred for political parties, the media, Wall Street, BP, the economy, tax cuts, Lady Gaga, and Newt Gingrich has left them with no room to get [Read More]

PALIN. 2012. COINCIDENCE?

PALIN. 2012. COINCIDENCE?

ANCHORAGE, AK (SatireWire.com) -- The possibility of a President Palin is gaining traction after a strong Tea Party showing on Tuesday, and the sudden realization that the next presidential election will occur just weeks before the world ends anyway, on Dec. 21, 2012. [Read More]

DEMS CONCEDE GOP HAS MAJORITY MINORITY

DEMS CONCEDE GOP HAS MAJORITY MINORITY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Now in control of only the White House, the Senate, the military, foreign policy, the U.S. Treasury, the Justice Department, homeland security, U.S. energy policy, and -- in cases of national emergency -- everything, Democrats on Capitol [Read More]

AMERICANS THROW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS

AMERICANS THROW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- American voters sent a strong signal to Washington on Tuesday, overturning Congress and effectively “tossing out the bums” who, in 2006 and 2008, threw out the previous bums who, in 2000, threw out the previous bums who, in 1996, [Read More]

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Latest Topics

SURVEY: MOST AMERICANS OK WITH YOU BEING QUARANTINED

SURVEY: MOST AMERICANS OK WITH YOU BEING QUARANTINED

NEW JERSEY (SatireWire.com) – A new poll shows nine in 10 Americans support a mandatory quarantine for someone who [Read More]

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

OKLAHOMA CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In a brutal and stunning offensive, thousands of Hobby Lobby employees and customers, [Read More]

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

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