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WIKILEAKS RELEASES BOEHNER’S NETFLIX ACCOUNT

WIKILEAKS RELEASES BOEHNER’S NETFLIX ACCOUNT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Just days after his tearful 60 Minutes interview, a visibly upset House Minority Leader John Boehner today announced WikiLeaks has published details of his private Netflix account showing “Terms of Endearment” has still not shipped, [Read More]

TIRED OF FAVRE, GOD COLLAPSES METRODOME

TIRED OF FAVRE, GOD COLLAPSES METRODOME

MINNEAPOLIS, MINN. (SatireWire.com) – Declaring He’s “about had it up to here,” a frustrated God said today the collapse of the Metrodome roof on Sunday was not a blessing in disguise for Brett Favre, but a rather obvious message, He thought, to the injured Vikings [Read More]

ASSANGE REGRETS LEAKING PRISON BREAKOUT PLAN

ASSANGE REGRETS LEAKING PRISON BREAKOUT PLAN

LONDON (SatireWire.com) – WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was in the hospital wing of Wandsworth Prison today after being unable to keep himself from divulging details of a planned breakout by fellow inmates. [Read More]

RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO “BE IN TOP 10″

RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO “BE IN TOP 10″

VIENNA, AUSTRIA (SatireWire.com) – A key academic assessment released today ranked America’s high schoolers 25th in the world in math, a showing that pleased U.S. students who figure that at least keeps them in the top 1O. [Read More]

‘ISH’ FROM ENGLISH SECRETLY REPLACED BY ‘ISH’ FROM SPANISH

‘ISH’ FROM ENGLISH SECRETLY REPLACED BY ‘ISH’ FROM SPANISH

PHOENIX, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- The ‘ish’ in the word English has been secretly replaced by the ‘ish’ from the word Spanish, according to anti-immigration groups who claim it is part of the “relentless campaign to de-Anglicize America.” [Read More]

ELATED MCCAIN KISSES GENERALS AFTER TESTIMONY

ELATED MCCAIN KISSES GENERALS AFTER TESTIMONY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Three of the four U.S. armed service chiefs told lawmakers Friday they opposed an immediate repeal of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,’ but their testimony was cut short when repeal opponent Sen. John McCain, seemingly overjoyed with their [Read More]

CONGRESS VOTES TO GO FUCK ITSELF

CONGRESS VOTES TO GO FUCK ITSELF

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a historic sign that Washington finally understands what the American people want, Congress today voted to go fuck itself. [Read More]

WIKILEAKS: GITMO PRISONERS “THE NEW BLACK”

WIKILEAKS: GITMO PRISONERS “THE NEW BLACK”

BRUSSELS (SatireWire.com) – In order to coerce a reluctant and image-starved Belgium into taking a Guantanamo Bay detainee, the U.S. pledged the tiny nation friendship, popularity, and a cool second name, according to this classified embassy cable. [Read More]

WIKILEAKS REVEAL U.S. IS JUST, LIKE, A TOTAL BITCH

WIKILEAKS REVEAL U.S. IS JUST, LIKE, A TOTAL BITCH

LONDON (SatireWire.com) – Much of the world was reportedly locked in its room crying a day after the release of a quarter-million U.S. embassy cables served to confirm what many have long suspected: that America is just, like, a total bitch. [Read More]

RETAILERS REJOICE AS BLACK FRIDAY TRAMPLINGS UP 22 PERCENT

RETAILERS REJOICE AS BLACK FRIDAY TRAMPLINGS  UP 22 PERCENT

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Retailers breathed a sigh of relief today as early Black Friday numbers indicated same-store tramplings were up 22 percent over last year. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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