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MURDOCH TO CLOSE SCOTLAND YARD

MURDOCH TO CLOSE SCOTLAND YARD

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Britain’s phone-hacking scandal has claimed another News International subsidiary as media baron Rupert Murdoch today told Parliament he will shut down Scotland Yard. [Read More]

WHITE HOUSE, GOP NOW JUST TRADING ‘YO MAMA’ SNAPS

WHITE HOUSE, GOP NOW JUST TRADING ‘YO MAMA’ SNAPS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bad-tempered deficit reduction talks hit bottom today as the White House and Republicans abandoned compromise and sunk to trading “Yo Mama’s So Fiscally Incompetent” barbs. [Read More]

CITING CREATIVE DIFFERENCES, NAVY SEAL TEAM 6 BREAKS UP

CITING CREATIVE DIFFERENCES, NAVY SEAL TEAM 6 BREAKS UP

OCEANA, VA. (SatireWire.com) -- Just two months after its breakthrough hit, the hugely popular Navy SEAL Team 6 has broken up, a Navy spokesman confirmed today. [Read More]

AMERICAN DREAM WILL NOW INCLUDE DESSERT

AMERICAN DREAM WILL NOW INCLUDE DESSERT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a move to rekindle the nation’s economic spirit while acknowledging its all-you-can-eat nature, the White House today announced the American Dream will now include dessert. [Read More]

U.S. THROWS ANOTHER HUNK OF METAL INTO SKY

U.S. THROWS ANOTHER HUNK OF METAL INTO SKY

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL (SatireWire.com) – The United States has thrown a giant hunk of metal at the sky again, according to mystified witnesses who watched it disappear in a cloud of fire and smoke above Florida. [Read More]

CASEY ANTHONY TO LAUNCH POLITICAL CAREER

CASEY ANTHONY TO LAUNCH POLITICAL CAREER

ORLANDO, FL (SatireWire.com) – Casey Anthony is headed to Washington, according to analysts who say she has everything it takes to be a successful politician: she is skilled at deception, she lives in a fantasy world, and, most importantly, she quit her job after just two [Read More]

DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE: LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS

DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE: LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS

PHILADELPHIA (SatireWire.com) – The Declaration of Independence, proclaimed 235 years ago, originally contained a dozen unalienable rights, including life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, gluten-free snack crackers, the right to stone witches recreationally. For more [Read More]

COURT REJECTS VID GAME BAN, LAUNCHES ‘CHAMBERS OF DEATH’

COURT REJECTS VID GAME BAN, LAUNCHES ‘CHAMBERS OF DEATH’

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The Supreme Court Monday rejected a ban on violent video games, calling it a coincidence that the court simultaneously released Jurisprudence II: Chambers of Death, a role-playing, first-person shooter starring the nine justices. [Read More]

U.S. TO BUILD DEBT SKYSCRAPER

U.S. TO BUILD DEBT SKYSCRAPER

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprisingly lofty compromise to the debt crisis, the U.S. today announced it will replace its single-ceiling debt structure with a modern, 108-story debt tower, allowing the government to “stack debt to heaven” for generations. [Read More]

ZUCKERBERG TO GRADS: ‘GOOD LUCK COMPETING WITH ME’

ZUCKERBERG TO GRADS: ‘GOOD LUCK COMPETING WITH ME’

BERKELEY, CAL. (SatireWire.com) -- In a commencement speech few are likely to forget, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg today urged the University of California's Class of 2011 to follow their dreams, unless they compete Facebook, in which case those dreams will die. [Read More]

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CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republicans picked up a major endorsement today as the world’s leading patient-based health [Read More]

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Overlooked as scandals swirl around other agencies, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service said today it [Read More]

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- A contrite Apple Inc. today admitted it was to blame for the suggestion by Rep. Jason [Read More]

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