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BULLS GET CRUCIAL NEW TATTOOS DURING WIN

BULLS GET CRUCIAL NEW TATTOOS DURING WIN

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- The Chicago Bulls took game one from the Miami Heat 103-82 on Sunday thanks to hot shooting from point guard Derrick Rose and a crucial 3rd quarter timeout where the team got new tattoos. [Read More]

OIL EXECS WARN TAX HIKES WILL INCREASE COST OF SCREWING US

OIL EXECS WARN TAX HIKES WILL INCREASE COST OF SCREWING US

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Dragged before Congress, oil executives on Thursday denied that industry tax breaks are used to increase profits, saying they are instead used to screw us, which is a pre-profit fixed cost along with exploration, drilling, extraction, [Read More]

BIN LADEN’S WIVES TALKING… AND TALKING

BIN LADEN’S WIVES TALKING… AND TALKING

ISLAMABAD (SatireWire.com) – The man who took down the twin towers wouldn’t take down the toilet seat, bring freedom to a clogged sink, or just once orchestrate an attack on a pile of dishes, according to interrogations of Osama bin Laden’s wives. [Read More]

LIFE TURNS OUT TO BE ABOUT THE DESTINATION

LIFE TURNS OUT TO BE ABOUT THE DESTINATION

BOSTON (SatireWire.com) -- Interviews with more than 1,000 people moments before they died revealed that contrary to popular wisdom, life is actually about the destination, not the journey, and the destination sucks. [Read More]

PHOTOSHOPPERS DEMAND RELEASE OF BIN LADEN IMAGE

PHOTOSHOPPERS DEMAND RELEASE OF BIN LADEN IMAGE

PALO ALTO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- Millions of Photoshop users today circulated a Photoshopped image of Photoshoppers protesting outside the White House to show their anger at President Obama for refusing to release a photo of Osama bin Laden’s corpse - a photo they said [Read More]

“CREEPED OUT” PLAYSTATION HACKERS RETURN IDENTITIES

“CREEPED OUT” PLAYSTATION HACKERS RETURN IDENTITIES

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) -- Just two weeks after breaching the Sony Playstation Network database, hackers today returned the nearly 80 million stolen identities, saying many of them were so “sad,” “disturbing,” or “frighteningly abnormal” that they should [Read More]

PAKISTAN TOUTS ‘VITAL’ IGNORANCE ROLE

PAKISTAN TOUTS ‘VITAL’ IGNORANCE ROLE

ABBOTTABAD, PAKISTAN (SatireWire.com) -- Pakistan’s government today rejected claims it was excluded from the assault on Osama bin Laden, insisting it had "proudly" taken part in all aspects of the planning, training, and implementation of the operation that involved [Read More]

DNA PROVES BIN LADEN A SHITHEAD

DNA PROVES BIN LADEN A SHITHEAD

ISLAMABAD (SatireWire.com) -- DNA testing proves “beyond a shadow of a doubt” that the man killed by U.S. forces at a Pakistani compound late Sunday was, in fact, the world’s biggest shithead, the White House said today. [Read More]

OBAMA ACCUSED OF POLITICIZING KILLING OF BIN LADEN BY KILLING BIN LADEN

OBAMA ACCUSED OF POLITICIZING KILLING OF BIN LADEN BY KILLING BIN LADEN

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Republicans today accused President Obama of needlessly politicizing Osama bin Laden's death by intentionally being the President at the time of Osama bin Laden's death. [Read More]

BRITS MARK INDIFFERENCE TO WEDDING BY GATHERING, CHEERING

BRITS MARK INDIFFERENCE TO WEDDING BY GATHERING, CHEERING

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Millions of crying, cheering, flag-waving Britons gathered in streets, pubs, and homes today to display the professed disinterest in the royal wedding that most had claimed to have before the event. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

DONALD TRUMP CALLS GOD ‘OVERRATED’ AFTER HOLY SNUB

DONALD TRUMP CALLS GOD ‘OVERRATED’ AFTER HOLY SNUB

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) - Escalating his Twitter war on A-list celebrities, Donald Trump today called God [Read More]

SHIT APPROACHING FAN

SHIT APPROACHING FAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) - Scientists monitoring catastrophic inevitability said today the shit is fast [Read More]

OLD GROWTH iPHONE FORESTS IN DANGER

OLD GROWTH iPHONE FORESTS IN DANGER

OLYMPIA, WA. (SatireWire.com) – Old-growth iPhone forests are in danger of disappearing, according to [Read More]

JOHN GLENN (RIP): ‘I CLAIMED EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

JOHN GLENN (RIP): ‘I CLAIMED EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

COLUMBUS, OHIO (SatireWire.com) -- Fifty years after becoming the first American to orbit Earth, John Glenn, who died [Read More]

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

(SatireWire.com) After doing his part to swing the U.S. election for Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin has [Read More]

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