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OBAMA SERIOUSLY STARTING TO THINK GOP ISN’T EVEN TRYING

OBAMA SERIOUSLY STARTING TO THINK GOP ISN’T EVEN TRYING

WASHINGTON (SatireWire.com) – With yet another flawed front-runner taking the lead in a GOP campaign seemingly bent on self-destruction, President Obama today privately told friends he is starting to think the Republicans aren’t even trying. [Read More]

ANALYSIS SHOWS EVERY SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL WAS PRO-OBAMA

ANALYSIS SHOWS EVERY SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL WAS PRO-OBAMA

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- It is entirely true, as Republicans claim, that Chrysler’s “Halftime in America” commercial, run during the Super Bowl and starring Clint Eastwood, was blatantly pro-Obama. After all, “halftime” clearly refers to it being halfway [Read More]

JFK DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE: REPORT

JFK DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE: REPORT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- According to a new report, there were thousands -- and possibly millions – of young women in the United States that President John F. Kennedy did not have sex with. [Read More]

SENIOR COMMITS TO TELLING FOLKS HE WAS RECRUITED BY ALABAMA

SENIOR COMMITS TO TELLING FOLKS HE WAS RECRUITED BY ALABAMA

NORFOLK, VA. (SatireWire.com) -- Ending a dramatic 24 hours for college football, Jimmy Taswell-Berk, a second-string senior quarterback and one of the nation’s most mediocre high school players, has committed to telling drunk girls at parties that he was recruited by the [Read More]

CAMPAIGN-BASED CONCUSSIONS ON THE RISE

CAMPAIGN-BASED CONCUSSIONS ON THE RISE

ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- Campaign-based concussions have risen 120 percent in the last month as voters across the country are repeatedly banging their heads in frustration against walls, countertops, or the nearest available hard object, the CDC reported today. [Read More]

TRANSCRIPT OF OBAMA-BREWER TARMAC TIFF RELEASED

TRANSCRIPT OF OBAMA-BREWER TARMAC TIFF RELEASED

PHOENIX, AZ (SatireWire.com) – Here is the complete transcript of the tarmac tiff between President Obama and Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, whose clear disregard for one another boiled over during a heated and heretofore confidential meeting Wednesday as the President stepped [Read More]

SOLAR STORM SHUTS DOWN MITT ROMNEY

SOLAR STORM SHUTS DOWN MITT ROMNEY

JACKSONVILLE, FL (SatireWire.com) – The massive solar radiation storm that struck Earth yesterday disrupted radio communications, knocked out satellite and computer systems, and shut down Mitt Romney for more than six hours. [Read More]

GINGRICH RELEASES LAST 10 YEARS OF VALENTINE’S CARDS

GINGRICH RELEASES LAST 10 YEARS OF VALENTINE’S CARDS

TAMPA, FL (SatireWire.com) -- GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich sought to fend off attacks on his family values and marital infidelity today by releasing the last 10 years of his Valentine’s Day cards sent to current wife, Callista. [Read More]

PERRY TRIUMPHANTLY LISTS ALL 3 REASONS HE DROPPED OUT

PERRY TRIUMPHANTLY LISTS ALL 3 REASONS HE DROPPED OUT

COLUMBIA, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Serial forgetter Rick Perry declared victory today after successfully being able to remember all three reasons he dropped out of the GOP presidential race. [Read More]

27M STUDENT ESSAYS ARE GONNA BE LATE

27M STUDENT ESSAYS ARE GONNA BE LATE

SAN FRANCISCO (SatireWire.com) – Internet site Wikipedia shut down for 24 hours Wednesday in a move that may cause Congress to reconsider proposed anti-piracy legislation and will cause at least 27 million student essays to be turned in a day late. Maybe two. [Read More]

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GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the [Read More]

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. [Read More]

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

FATHER: Son, did you steal $20 from your mother’s purse? SON: No. [Read More]

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

House Speaker Paul Ryan was rushed to a hospital today after negotiations over House and Senate tax reform bills caused [Read More]

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

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