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58 PERCENT OF AMERICANS’ FANTASIES NOW APPLE-RELATED

58 PERCENT OF AMERICANS’ FANTASIES NOW APPLE-RELATED

BLOOMINGTON, IN. (SatireWire.com) – According to a new study, 58 percent of Americans' fantasies are now Apple-related. [Read More]

GOP PLAN CUTS SOCIAL SECURITY, BUT DECLARES SENIORS ‘AMAZING’

GOP PLAN CUTS SOCIAL SECURITY, BUT DECLARES SENIORS ‘AMAZING’

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In another attempt to slash the debt without alienating voters, Republicans today unveiled a proposal that cuts Social Security 50 percent but declares everyone over age 65 “amazing." [Read More]

CONGRES CUTS OFF LAST ‘S’ FOR ‘SAVINGS’

CONGRES CUTS OFF LAST ‘S’ FOR ‘SAVINGS’

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a bipartisan effort to prove it is serious about deficit reduction, Congres today voted to leave off the last ‘s’ in ‘Congres’ for savings. [Read More]

CONGRESSWOMAN ACCUSED OF INAPPROPRIATELY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP WITH MALE STAFFER

<FONT SIZE=3>CONGRESSWOMAN ACCUSED OF INAPPROPRIATELY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP WITH MALE STAFFER</FONT>

WASHINGTON (SatireWire.com) – Democratic Illinois Congresswoman Jennifer Wigan faces ethics charges after admitting to a platonic, respectful, and mutually fulfilling professional relationship with a male staffer. [Read More]

U.S. SETS SWEAT PRODUCTION RECORD

U.S. SETS SWEAT PRODUCTION RECORD

ST. LOUIS (SatireWire.com) – America’s sweltering summer of 2011 does have a bright side: U.S. sweat production is at record highs. [Read More]

RAYS PLAN PLAYER’S DEATH TO INSPIRE VICTORY

RAYS PLAN PLAYER’S DEATH TO INSPIRE VICTORY

TAMPA, FL (SatireWire.com) – Eight games behind the division leaders and losing confidence, the Tampa Bay Rays today announced one of their players will have to be killed in order to inspire the team to win the championship in his memory. [Read More]

MURDOCH TO CLOSE SCOTLAND YARD

MURDOCH TO CLOSE SCOTLAND YARD

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Britain’s phone-hacking scandal has claimed another News International subsidiary as media baron Rupert Murdoch today told Parliament he will shut down Scotland Yard. [Read More]

WHITE HOUSE, GOP NOW JUST TRADING ‘YO MAMA’ SNAPS

WHITE HOUSE, GOP NOW JUST TRADING ‘YO MAMA’ SNAPS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bad-tempered deficit reduction talks hit bottom today as the White House and Republicans abandoned compromise and sunk to trading “Yo Mama’s So Fiscally Incompetent” barbs. [Read More]

CITING CREATIVE DIFFERENCES, NAVY SEAL TEAM 6 BREAKS UP

CITING CREATIVE DIFFERENCES, NAVY SEAL TEAM 6 BREAKS UP

OCEANA, VA. (SatireWire.com) -- Just two months after its breakthrough hit, the hugely popular Navy SEAL Team 6 has broken up, a Navy spokesman confirmed today. [Read More]

AMERICAN DREAM WILL NOW INCLUDE DESSERT

AMERICAN DREAM WILL NOW INCLUDE DESSERT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a move to rekindle the nation’s economic spirit while acknowledging its all-you-can-eat nature, the White House today announced the American Dream will now include dessert. [Read More]

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TRUMP NOMINATION A VICTORY FOR AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

TRUMP NOMINATION A VICTORY FOR AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

BISMARCK, N.D. (SatireWire.com) – In securing the GOP nomination on Thursday, Donald Trump also scored a victory for [Read More]

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s [Read More]

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps much worse than previously [Read More]

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing that President Obama’s executive action on gun control will lead to [Read More]

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