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Sci/Tech Briefs

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – As part of the staff cuts it announced yesterday, online auction site eBay said it will not release its employees outright, but will auction them off individually. To increase interest in the employees, who will come from the [Read More]

Starving, Dying Poor to Get Much-Needed Net Access

Starving, Dying Poor to Get Much-Needed Net Access

Okinawa, Japan (SatireWire.com) – The world’s poorest nations reacted with elation yesterday after learning the G-8 economic powers have pledged to bring them into the digital economy by wiring their countries. “With access to stock quotes, entertainment [Read More]

House Sends Spam Bill to Senate; Senate Spam Filter Deletes It

House Sends Spam Bill to Senate; Senate Spam Filter Deletes It

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The anti-spam bill passed by the U.S. House of Representatives Tuesday was sent to the Senate today, but the Senate’s spam filtering software automatically determined it was junk mail and deleted it. Amy Lee, Chief System [Read More]

WINDOWS NOT A VIRUS

WINDOWS NOT A VIRUS

Cupertino, Cal. (SatireWire.com) - Symantec issued an apology to Microsoft yesterday after the security software maker’s AntiVirus Research Center issued an alert for a “widespread and lethal virus known to cause system crashes and data loss” that turned [Read More]

New Web Site Launched for Those Without Internet Access

New Web Site Launched for Those Without Internet Access

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Reacting to an alarming new report that warns of a widening “digital divide” between those who have Internet access and those who don’t, the United Nations last week launched HaveNot.org, a community and commerce [Read More]

LOVE BUG “WORM”; HACKERS “TWITS”

LOVE BUG “WORM”; HACKERS “TWITS”

Palo Alto, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The International Society of Computer Hackers blasted the media yesterday for continually using the word ‘virus’ when referring to the “Love Bug” email that recently infected computers. The program was more [Read More]

Priceline Launches “Name Price for Bail”

Priceline Launches “Name Price for Bail”

Stamford, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Priceline.com, which allows consumers to name their own price for airline tickets and mortgages, will launch a name-your-own-price for bail service, the company disclosed today. The service will initially be restricted to high-crime [Read More]

“AOL of Latin America” Adopts Busy Signal

“AOL of Latin America” Adopts Busy Signal

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Building on its self-professed desire to become the “AOL of Latin America,” StarMedia CEO Fernando Espuelas said today the company will now enter a two-year period during which dial-up subscribers will be unable to connect [Read More]

MP3 TO STEAL, SELL YOUR STUFF

MP3 TO STEAL, SELL YOUR STUFF

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) - Stunned that a court ruled its unauthorized distribution of music through an online database broke copyright laws, MP3.Com announced this morning it still believes in its business model, but will abandon music and instead sell [Read More]

MEDIA METRIX CHANGES MEASUREMENT TERMS

MEDIA METRIX CHANGES MEASUREMENT TERMS

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Internet audience measurement firm Media Metrix, seeking to differentiate itself from competitors NetRatings and PC Data, announced yesterday it will no longer use the term “unique visitors” in reference to site traffic, [Read More]

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Latest Topics

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

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