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Janet Reno Awarded VirginMary.com Domain

Janet Reno Awarded VirginMary.com Domain

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Just days after pop diva Madonna won a battle to wrest control of Madonna.com by arguing she was the world’s best known Madonna, Attorney General Janet Reno employed a similar argument to win the rights to VirginMary.com. [Read More]

Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Initially saddened and confused by this week’s strong earnings report from Microsoft, which gave it little to criticize, the media rebounded strongly today, noting the release had “numerous” typos and grammatical [Read More]

Bush Vows To Cut Internet Taxes

Bush Vows To Cut Internet Taxes

Fraser, Mich. (SatireWire.com) – Speaking to a group of young voters at a Michigan campaign stop, Republican George W. Bush boldly pledged to cut Internet taxes in half, and waved off suggestions by some in the crowd that there are, at present, no taxes levied on the [Read More]

SatireWire to Lay Off Half of Staff

SatireWire to Lay Off Half of Staff

New Haven, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to appear in sync with the Internet economy, online humor site SatireWire today announced it will lay off 50 percent of its staff, or approximately one person, by year’s end. According to SatireWire editor Treat [Read More]

Dot-Coms Sick of All the Survivor Analogies

Dot-Coms Sick of All the Survivor Analogies

San Francisco, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Executives at nearly a dozen flailing Internet companies said today they were “sick and tired” of all the analogies to the CBS show Survivor, and just hope it all comes to an end now that the show is over. “It [Read More]

AOL Offers 25 Years Free Access For First Month

AOL Offers 25 Years Free Access For First Month

Dulles, Va. (SatireWire.com) – America Online, which recently launched a membership drive offering 700 hours of free Internet access in the first month, outdid itself today by announcing that new members can now get 25 years of free Internet access during the [Read More]

Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

Los Angeles (SatireWire.com) – Former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl once again finished dead last in the latest PornoMetrix survey, which tracks the use of naked celebrity images on pornographic sites. According to PornoMetrix, naked or provocative pictures of the [Read More]

Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual State For Only $49.95 a Month

Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual State For Only $49.95 a Month

Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Proposing a compromise he hopes will ensure his nation’s security, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak announced Israel will allow the Palestinians to form an independent nation, but only on the Internet. The offer calls for the [Read More]

“CokeSpill” Virus Strikes Innnnntel, DDDDDellll

“CokeSpill” Virus Strikes Innnnntel, DDDDDellll

Cupertino, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – A computer virus labeled “CokeSpill,” which mimics the spill of a Coca-Cola on a computer keyboard, has infected computers at Innnntel, Suuuuun Microooosystems and DDDDellll, said a spokesman for Syyyyyymmmmmantec, whose [Read More]

Teen Killed in Dispute Over $70 Pair of Domains

Teen Killed in Dispute Over $70 Pair of Domains

Secaucus, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – In yet another sign that senseless geek-on-geek crime is out of control, a 13-year-old honor student and computer genius was arrested yesterday for allegedly killing a classmate in a dispute over a $70 pair of new domain names. [Read More]

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TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

FATHER: Son, did you steal $20 from your mother’s purse? SON: No. [Read More]

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

House Speaker Paul Ryan was rushed to a hospital today after negotiations over House and Senate tax reform bills caused [Read More]

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republicans picked up a major endorsement today as the world’s leading patient-based health [Read More]

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Overlooked as scandals swirl around other agencies, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service said today it [Read More]

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