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Sci/Tech

Tiny Net Company Insists It’s a Goddamned Bellwether

Tiny Net Company Insists It’s a Goddamned Bellwether

Wausau, Wis. (SatireWire.com) – Bart Garmon, president and chief executive officer of BartGarmon.com, a now solo Web design shop that is shedding employees and quickly running out of cash, insists his ailing firm should be considered an “Internet [Read More]

To Keep Reader Interest on Web, Sites Work Hard to Make Stories Brief and Make Headlines Snappy, Interesting, and Also Brief, If They Can Do That And Still Get Their Point Across

To Keep Reader Interest on Web, Sites Work Hard to Make Stories Brief and Make Headlines Snappy, Interesting, and Also Brief, If They Can Do That And Still Get Their Point Across

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Acknowledging that surfers on the World Wide Web are as short on time as they are on attention span, Internet sites are “working hard” at trying to keep both their headlines and the text of their site copy brief, concise, [Read More]

Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Sunnyvale, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In response to Intel’s statement that it will produce transistors only three atoms wide by 2005, rival chipmaker Advanced Micro Devices announced today that most of its employees are no more than 14 inches tall. AMD, however, [Read More]

Dotcomguy Drops ‘Dotcom’ From Name

Dotcomguy Drops ‘Dotcom’ From Name

DALLAS, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – In the strongest signal yet that “Internet-only” has become a verbal albatross, DotComGuy – the Texas man who lives entirely off the Internet and hasn’t left his house for nearly a year – has dropped the [Read More]

14 Remaining Netscape Users Rejoice Over Release of Netscape 6

14 Remaining Netscape Users Rejoice Over Release of Netscape 6

Mountain View, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The world’s 14 remaining users of the Netscape browser exulted this week over the release of Netscape 6, the first new version of the browser in two years, and a product Netscape executives predicted would blow away [Read More]

“Sponsorship Rectangles” Replace Banner Ads

“Sponsorship Rectangles” Replace Banner Ads

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprise concession, the Internet Advertising Bureau today acknowledged the banner ad is dead, but expressed confidence that its latest innovation, “Sponsorship Rectangles,” will spread quickly and reignite online [Read More]

Microsoft Hacker Still A Mystery; Sun Releases Sun Office, Sun 2000

Microsoft Hacker Still A Mystery; Sun Releases Sun Office, Sun 2000

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft executives continued to insist today that whoever hacked into their computer system did not gain access to the source codes of its major products. However, Redmond officials conceded they may never learn the identity of the [Read More]

Janet Reno Awarded VirginMary.com Domain

Janet Reno Awarded VirginMary.com Domain

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Just days after pop diva Madonna won a battle to wrest control of Madonna.com by arguing she was the world’s best known Madonna, Attorney General Janet Reno employed a similar argument to win the rights to VirginMary.com. [Read More]

Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Initially saddened and confused by this week’s strong earnings report from Microsoft, which gave it little to criticize, the media rebounded strongly today, noting the release had “numerous” typos and grammatical [Read More]

Bush Vows To Cut Internet Taxes

Bush Vows To Cut Internet Taxes

Fraser, Mich. (SatireWire.com) – Speaking to a group of young voters at a Michigan campaign stop, Republican George W. Bush boldly pledged to cut Internet taxes in half, and waved off suggestions by some in the crowd that there are, at present, no taxes levied on the [Read More]

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Latest Topics

BOWING TO GOP PRESSURE, OBAMA AGREES TO BE EMPEROR OF AMERICA

BOWING TO GOP PRESSURE, OBAMA AGREES TO BE EMPEROR OF AMERICA

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After repeatedly being labeled a dictator by Republicans and conservative media, [Read More]

SURVEY: MOST AMERICANS OK WITH YOU BEING QUARANTINED

SURVEY: MOST AMERICANS OK WITH YOU BEING QUARANTINED

NEW JERSEY (SatireWire.com) – A new poll shows nine in 10 Americans support a mandatory quarantine for someone who [Read More]

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

OKLAHOMA CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In a brutal and stunning offensive, thousands of Hobby Lobby employees and customers, [Read More]

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

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