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Sci/Tech

BMW Gets Blue Windscreen of Death

BMW Gets Blue Windscreen of Death

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft announced this week that a version of its Windows operating system will be installed in BMW’s new 7 Series cars, a move analysts say will dramatically increase the vehicle’s ability to suddenly crash for no [Read More]

Hooked On Phonics Files for I Pee Oh

Hooked On Phonics Files for I Pee Oh

San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – Gateway Learning Corporation, maker of Hooked On Phonics, said today it will spin off its language teaching arm in an in-ish-ul pub-lik aw-fer-ing, or I Pee Oh. In an S-1 filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, the company [Read More]

Pregnant Women Can Fly

Pregnant Women Can Fly

Minneapolis, Minn. (SatireWire.com) -A new report by the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology stating that pregnant women can fly safely until their 36th week is “misleading and dangerous,” according to a 28-year-old Minneapolis woman who, just 30 weeks [Read More]

Study: Monogamists With More Than One Spouse May Become Polygamists

Study: Monogamists With More Than One Spouse May Become Polygamists

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – According to a National Institutes of Health study, monogamists who are married to more than one spouse at a time have a significantly greater chance of becoming polygamists than those who remain married to only one person. [Read More]

Conptr@Versjal Nev Kkeyboadr Duficulp to Lern^

Conptr@Versjal Nev Kkeyboadr Duficulp to Lern^

DD@11las, =Tewas [(S$at’ireW|re.(om\ – AAA revolYtionary &new kkeybordf moeant to deplace #he trabiitional*l QWERTY arrrranjme3nt ov kkey$ i&s @1moast imnpoS$sible) +o use, aAcCoardng +o U*-ser$ wh07 ar4e Kkeerrurren+|y te$tin9 th%e probbuc+. [Read More]

92 Percent Of Web Sites Made in China

92 Percent Of Web Sites Made in China

New York (SatireWire.com) – In yet another disturbing sign that the Internet continues to be little more than a reflection of American culture, a new study by New York University today revealed that nine out of ten Web sites are made in China. To conduct the study, [Read More]

Sites Offer Large Print for Old People

Sites Offer Large Print for Old People

Sarasota, Fla. (SatireWire.com) – Reacting to new studies claiming people aged 55 and older are the fastest growing segment of new Internet users, hundreds of Web sites have begun offering large print versions, as well as embedding helpful reminders in their text, [Read More]

CMGI + Napster = Wow – Wow

CMGI + Napster = Wow – Wow

Andover, Mass. (SatireWire.com) – In a $1.1 billion deal, Internet holding company CMGI today announced it would merge with online music site Napster to create a company that no one cares about anymore and is probably illegal anyway. “The combined company may [Read More]

Intel Says Not Bunch of “Fancy Dans”

Intel Says Not Bunch of “Fancy Dans”

Santa Clara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Chipmaker Intel this morning said a press release issued by the company yesterday stating, “We are fancy Dans with satin hands Una Paloma Blanca over the mountains tiny puppies pass the pistachio nuts nuts nuts with the [Read More]

“Homeless” Reclassified As “Mobile Internet Users”

“Homeless” Reclassified As “Mobile Internet Users”

Washington, D.C.. (SatireWire.com) – According to a new directive from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the estimated 750,000 Americans once considered “homeless” will be reclassified as “mobile Internet users” who choose to [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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