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58 PERCENT OF AMERICANS’ FANTASIES NOW APPLE-RELATED

58 PERCENT OF AMERICANS’ FANTASIES NOW APPLE-RELATED

BLOOMINGTON, IN. (SatireWire.com) – According to a new study, 58 percent of Americans' fantasies are now Apple-related. [Read More]

U.S. SETS SWEAT PRODUCTION RECORD

U.S. SETS SWEAT PRODUCTION RECORD

ST. LOUIS (SatireWire.com) – America’s sweltering summer of 2011 does have a bright side: U.S. sweat production is at record highs. [Read More]

U.S. THROWS ANOTHER HUNK OF METAL INTO SKY

U.S. THROWS ANOTHER HUNK OF METAL INTO SKY

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL (SatireWire.com) – The United States has thrown a giant hunk of metal at the sky again, according to mystified witnesses who watched it disappear in a cloud of fire and smoke above Florida. [Read More]

CNN URGES VIEWERS NOT TO SEND INCREDIBLE TORNADO FOOTAGE

CNN URGES VIEWERS NOT TO SEND INCREDIBLE TORNADO FOOTAGE

ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) – News network CNN again today urged amateur stormchasers not to video tornadoes but instead seek shelter immediately, a warning they reinforced by repeatedly showing footage from amateur stormchasers not seeking shelter immediately. [Read More]

LIFE TURNS OUT TO BE ABOUT THE DESTINATION

LIFE TURNS OUT TO BE ABOUT THE DESTINATION

BOSTON (SatireWire.com) -- Interviews with more than 1,000 people moments before they died revealed that contrary to popular wisdom, life is actually about the destination, not the journey, and the destination sucks. [Read More]

“CREEPED OUT” PLAYSTATION HACKERS RETURN IDENTITIES

“CREEPED OUT” PLAYSTATION HACKERS RETURN IDENTITIES

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) -- Just two weeks after breaching the Sony Playstation Network database, hackers today returned the nearly 80 million stolen identities, saying many of them were so “sad,” “disturbing,” or “frighteningly abnormal” that they should [Read More]

IPHONE SECRETLY TRACKING HOW DULL YOUR LIFE IS

IPHONE SECRETLY TRACKING HOW DULL YOUR LIFE IS

CUPTERINO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) -- Apple iPhones secretly track and record their owners’ location, a potentially devastating privacy breach that experts warn could force people to face the fact that they never really go anywhere interesting. [Read More]

RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO “BE IN TOP 10″

RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO “BE IN TOP 10″

VIENNA, AUSTRIA (SatireWire.com) – A key academic assessment released today ranked America’s high schoolers 25th in the world in math, a showing that pleased U.S. students who figure that at least keeps them in the top 1O. [Read More]

STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

Cambridge, Mass. (SatireWire.com) -- According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than women who do not consume alcohol. The report also found that women [Read More]

VIAGRA SPILL REVIVES LAKE MICHIGAN

VIAGRA SPILL REVIVES LAKE MICHIGAN

Chicago (SatireWire.com) - A freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra struck a reef and sank in Lake Michigan today. As a result, the once-frigid lake no longer dangles into Illinois and Indiana, but now spans majestically across northern [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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