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ADM PRODUCES PIG MADE ENTIRELY OF CHICKEN

ADM PRODUCES PIG MADE ENTIRELY OF CHICKEN

DECATUR, IL. (SatireWire.com) -- Agribusiness giant Archer Daniels Midland today announced it has successfully produced a pig made entirely of chicken. [Read More]

SKYDIVER BREAKS RECORD FOR FREE-FALL SWEARING

SKYDIVER BREAKS RECORD FOR FREE-FALL SWEARING

ROSWELL, N.M. (SatireWire.com) -- In a giant leap from the edge of space Sunday, Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner shattered records for supersonic speed, high altitude jumping, and free-fall swearing in a nerve-wracking, 24-mile plunge to Earth. [Read More]

MEN LINING UP FOR LIFE-EXTENDING CASTRATIONS

MEN LINING UP FOR LIFE-EXTENDING CASTRATIONS

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Only a day after a new study revealed that castrated men live significantly longer lives, surgical centers around the country were swamped with men demanding to have their testicles removed. [Read More]

HIGH SCIENTISTS INSIST EARTH IS DEPICTED UPSIDE DOWN MAYBE

HIGH SCIENTISTS INSIST EARTH IS DEPICTED UPSIDE DOWN MAYBE

AMSTERDAM (SatireWire.com) -- A team of extremely high astrophysicists revealed today that mankind has for millenia incorrectly depicted Earth upside down, a stunning development that means everyone traveling right now is going in the wrong direction. [Read More]

iPAD 3 PURCHASE CAN INCREASE CHILD’S LOVE OF PARENTS

iPAD 3 PURCHASE CAN INCREASE CHILD’S LOVE OF PARENTS

CUPUTERINO, CA (SatireWire.com) — Children of divorce report a nearly 50 percent increase in their love for whichever parent is willing to buy them the new Apple iPad 3, according to a survey of American youth. [Read More]

HOPEFUL SPERM CELL WANTS TO TRY IT WITH EGG FROM BEHIND

HOPEFUL SPERM CELL WANTS TO TRY IT WITH EGG FROM BEHIND

BALTIMORE, MD. (SatireWire.com) — A sperm cell’s hopeful attempts today to convince an egg they should “try it from behind” have so far been rejected by the egg, who called the suggestion pointless, unnatural, and probably not even hygienic. [Read More]

GOOGLE TO BECOME ‘GOOGLE-BFF’ – ‘SO TELL US EVERYTHING’

GOOGLE TO BECOME ‘GOOGLE-BFF’ – ‘SO TELL US EVERYTHING’

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to stamp out any objections to the vast amount of personal information it gathers, Google today said it has changed its name to Google BFF, thereby making it “perfectly normal” for the company to know everything about [Read More]

27M STUDENT ESSAYS ARE GONNA BE LATE

27M STUDENT ESSAYS ARE GONNA BE LATE

SAN FRANCISCO (SatireWire.com) – Internet site Wikipedia shut down for 24 hours Wednesday in a move that may cause Congress to reconsider proposed anti-piracy legislation and will cause at least 27 million student essays to be turned in a day late. Maybe two. [Read More]

IN NEW SPACE RACE, U.S. VOWS TO MATCH RUSSIAN FAILURES

IN NEW SPACE RACE, U.S. VOWS TO MATCH RUSSIAN FAILURES

MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) – NASA will begin sabotaging its own rockets in an effort to keep up with longtime space foe Russia, which has taken a huge lead by losing no less than eight spacecraft in the past year, including the Phobos-Grunt probe that crashed to Earth [Read More]

DOOMSDAY CLOCK TO USE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS; WORLD ENDS MARCH 11

DOOMSDAY CLOCK TO USE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS; WORLD ENDS MARCH 11

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- The Doomsday Clock, which gauges threats to humanity and is now set at just 5 minutes to midnight, will “spring forward” one hour in March to account for Daylight Savings Time, a decision scientists say will bring it in line with other [Read More]

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Latest Topics

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

(SatireWire.com) After doing his part to swing the U.S. election for Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin has [Read More]

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) - In the latest staff shakeup, President-elect Donald Trump today reportedly replaced key [Read More]

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

RICHMOND, VA – Donald Trump’s shock election has dramatically shifted the political landscape in the home of [Read More]

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Pushed to the limits of pain by an election that was initially entertaining but [Read More]

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

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