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DOT-COMS “JUST KIDDING” ABOUT BEING DOT-COMS, SAY DOT-COMS

DOT-COMS “JUST KIDDING” ABOUT BEING DOT-COMS, SAY DOT-COMS

Profitless Internet Firms Insist They’re Unfairly Labeled as Profitless Internet Firms SAN JOSE, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – Arguing they are being unfairly labeled as money-losing dot-coms, nearly 400 money-losing dot-coms announced this week they were “just [Read More]

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR’S PRIVATES (page 2)

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR’S PRIVATES (page 2)

“I don’t know about you, but my privates are worth a lot to me,” said Hanson. “I would never sell them at cost. That’s demeaning.” Nearly as demeaning, said Hanson, were results at DirectHit, which invited him to “Join a club about [Read More]

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR’S PRIVATES?

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR’S PRIVATES?

Amazon, eBay, Raging Bull Advertising Boy’s ‘Male Equipment’ TERRELL, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – What began as an insecure boy’s search for self-esteem ended in shock and embarrassment for a 15-year-old Texas youth who discovered last week that [Read More]

AUCTION SITE SELLERS CHOOSE HINT OVER HYPE

AUCTION SITE SELLERS CHOOSE HINT OVER HYPE

“A ‘ wild abstract painting ‘ bought at a garage sale and auctioned off over the Internet with a starting bid of 25 cents sold for $135,805 in a bidding frenzy by buyers hoping it was an undiscovered work by the late Richard Diebenkorn.” - MSNBC, May [Read More]

INTERNET DIVE FORCES FIRMS TO USE ‘MONEY’

INTERNET DIVE FORCES FIRMS TO USE ‘MONEY’

Companies Confused Over Having to Take Something Other Than Stock Santa Clara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The Internet stock drop has done more than just lop off paper profits. Start-ups, which once regularly paid for goods and services in stock, have been forced to [Read More]

EC THINK TANK: LEGALISE INTERNET

EC THINK TANK: LEGALISE INTERNET

Plan Would Keep Europe ‘Right in There’ with Afghanis BRUSSELS (SatireWire.com) – Despite strong opposition from the French government, a joint European Community think tank has concluded the “Internet” – a US-based collection of [Read More]

CLINTON TAPS STRATEGIC PROGRAMMER RESERVES

CLINTON TAPS STRATEGIC PROGRAMMER RESERVES

Tech Industry Applauds; GOP Claims Politics Behind Release WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Hoping to stem rising technology prices caused by a shortage of high-tech workers this winter, President Clinton today approved the release of 2 million programmers from the [Read More]

IT’S OFFICIAL: EVERYBODY HATES MICROSOFT

IT’S OFFICIAL: EVERYBODY HATES MICROSOFT

Iowa Farm Girl, Last Holdout; Gives in After Talk with Preacher WATERLOO, IOWA (SatireWire.com) – Sixteen-year-old high school sophomore Becky Atherton, believed to be the last remaining American who did not hate Microsoft, announced today that she was “tired of [Read More]

INTERNET CONVERTS TO “PREMIUM SERVICES” ONLY

INTERNET CONVERTS TO “PREMIUM SERVICES” ONLY

Web Sites Find Revenue by Renaming Their Offerings CUPERTINO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – With banner ad revenue in retreat, every major Internet company today announced it would offer only “premium services” – programs that may look similar to their [Read More]

The Click Sense (ACT III)

The Click Sense (ACT III)

“I See Dead Dot-Coms” Act III, Scene I Read ACT ONE. Read ACT TWO. Interior of Cole’s apartment at night. He is in the hall. He can see his breath. It’s obviously cold. He is rigid with fear. He rushes to the tent in his room and hides there. But [Read More]

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Latest Topics

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

In the last several days I have been called everything from “flawed” to “tragically dangerous,” and it hurts. I [Read More]

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Global warming followers the world over were outraged today after the U.N. failed to [Read More]

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

“People think it’s some grand, mysterious process, but honestly it’s not,” says one Yale University admissions [Read More]

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) -- After claiming the right to seize Crimea because of its Russian heritage, President Vladimir [Read More]

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

KIEV, UKRAINE (SatireWire.com) -- Leaders from Europe and the United States today declared time was up on Russian [Read More]

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