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GORE PUTS INTERNET UP FOR SALE ON EBAY

GORE PUTS INTERNET UP FOR SALE ON EBAY

Expects $400 Billion Bid for His Baby WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Vice President Al Gore has put the Internet up for sale on auction site eBay, explaining that while he will miss his creation, he needs money to duel Republican presidential contender George W. [Read More]

AT NEW BREED OF VERTICAL SEARCH ENGINES, THE RESULTS ARE COMING FAST AND FEW

AT NEW BREED OF VERTICAL SEARCH ENGINES, THE RESULTS ARE COMING FAST AND FEW

“Vearch” Sites Promise (and Deliver) Instant, Relevant Answers SEATTLE, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – Despite numerous refinements, most search engines still return too many results, but now a handful of new, highly vertical search sites promises to [Read More]

NEW GOVERNMENT PORTAL DESIGN LEAKED

NEW GOVERNMENT PORTAL DESIGN LEAKED

“A new computer system will offer one-stop shopping for online information about the federal government, President Clinton said Saturday. Logging on to one Web site, firstgov.gov, will yield links to all federal information available publicly over the Internet, [Read More]

WINDOWS HAS FRENCH DNA

May Explain Software’s Surly Behavior, Say Analysts REDMOND, WASH. (SatireWire.com) - Microsoft revealed today it has been regularly embedding DNA strings from a French citizen into the code of its Windows operating system. The company claims to know only the [Read More]

DOT-COMS “JUST KIDDING” ABOUT BEING DOT-COMS, SAY DOT-COMS

DOT-COMS “JUST KIDDING” ABOUT BEING DOT-COMS, SAY DOT-COMS

Profitless Internet Firms Insist They’re Unfairly Labeled as Profitless Internet Firms SAN JOSE, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – Arguing they are being unfairly labeled as money-losing dot-coms, nearly 400 money-losing dot-coms announced this week they were “just [Read More]

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR’S PRIVATES (page 2)

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR’S PRIVATES (page 2)

“I don’t know about you, but my privates are worth a lot to me,” said Hanson. “I would never sell them at cost. That’s demeaning.” Nearly as demeaning, said Hanson, were results at DirectHit, which invited him to “Join a club about [Read More]

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR’S PRIVATES?

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR’S PRIVATES?

Amazon, eBay, Raging Bull Advertising Boy’s ‘Male Equipment’ TERRELL, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – What began as an insecure boy’s search for self-esteem ended in shock and embarrassment for a 15-year-old Texas youth who discovered last week that [Read More]

AUCTION SITE SELLERS CHOOSE HINT OVER HYPE

AUCTION SITE SELLERS CHOOSE HINT OVER HYPE

“A ‘ wild abstract painting ‘ bought at a garage sale and auctioned off over the Internet with a starting bid of 25 cents sold for $135,805 in a bidding frenzy by buyers hoping it was an undiscovered work by the late Richard Diebenkorn.” - MSNBC, May [Read More]

INTERNET DIVE FORCES FIRMS TO USE ‘MONEY’

INTERNET DIVE FORCES FIRMS TO USE ‘MONEY’

Companies Confused Over Having to Take Something Other Than Stock Santa Clara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The Internet stock drop has done more than just lop off paper profits. Start-ups, which once regularly paid for goods and services in stock, have been forced to [Read More]

EC THINK TANK: LEGALISE INTERNET

EC THINK TANK: LEGALISE INTERNET

Plan Would Keep Europe ‘Right in There’ with Afghanis BRUSSELS (SatireWire.com) – Despite strong opposition from the French government, a joint European Community think tank has concluded the “Internet” – a US-based collection of [Read More]

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NEWLY DISCOVERED PLANETS SEEM TO BE UNHAPPY WE FOUND THEM

NEWLY DISCOVERED PLANETS SEEM TO BE UNHAPPY WE FOUND THEM

LIEGE, BELGIUM (SatireWire.com) -- In an astounding development, scientists say the seven newly discovered exoplanets [Read More]

TRUMP VOWS NOT TO DEPORT ILLEGALS WHO RATE 8+

TRUMP VOWS NOT TO DEPORT ILLEGALS WHO RATE 8+

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In what it called a "show of great compassion," the Trump administration today [Read More]

GOP APPROVES ABORTION IN DEMOCRATIC DISTRICTS

GOP APPROVES ABORTION IN DEMOCRATIC DISTRICTS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In what they called a historic compromise, Republicans in Congress today said they [Read More]

CONGRESSIONAL COAT-CHECK NOW ALSO ACCEPTING BALLS

CONGRESSIONAL COAT-CHECK NOW ALSO ACCEPTING BALLS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The congressional cloakroom, where representatives and senators traditionally [Read More]

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The U.S. Secret Service today apprehended a man they said was attempting to scale [Read More]

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