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YAHOO! SAYS PORN SALES WON’T CHANGE COMPANY, NEW YAHOOTERS! GIRLS “JUST AN EXPERIMENT”

“We’re hard and fast on being the largest enabler of commerce on the Web. We have chosen to offer adult-oriented content as part of that.” — Yahoo! President Jeff Mallett, Reuters, April 11, 2001, (emphasis ours; words his). Girls Will Answer Your [Read More]

COURT ORDERS NAPSTER TO STOP AS SOON AS JUDGES FINISH DOWNLOADING PINK FLOYD, RICKY MARTIN

COURT ORDERS NAPSTER TO STOP AS SOON AS JUDGES FINISH DOWNLOADING PINK FLOYD, RICKY MARTIN

Napster Servers Too Busy for Judges to Get Songs They Wanted San Francisco, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In a 2-to-1 decision, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ordered song-swapping service Napster to stop trading copyrighted material as soon as the judges finish [Read More]

LAYOFFS, STOCK DROPS PROVE FIRMS BOASTING THEY’D BE “NEXT AMAZON” WERE RIGHT

LAYOFFS, STOCK DROPS PROVE FIRMS BOASTING THEY’D BE “NEXT AMAZON” WERE RIGHT

Some Even Outperform Amazon.com’s Underperformance Reston, Va. (SatireWire.com) – Investors know Internet companies often can’t back up their promises, but one common boast has some dot-com executives crowing “I told you so.” Several online [Read More]

MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP

MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP

Despite Gains in Market Share, Linux Firms To Call It Quits Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Chastened Linux executives pledged to stop their “crazy dreaming” and disband their efforts after an executive from Microsoft proclaimed Linux was doomed, and [Read More]

DOTCOM CHAIN LETTER REALLY WORKS!

With a Minimal Investment, Net Companies Finally Raking in Real Cash! *********************************************************** DO NOT DELETE THIS! Print it, and read it! THIS “PROGRAM” REALLY WORKS!! [Read More]

MOST WON’T REMEMBER DAY LINUX 2.4 RELEASED

MOST WON’T REMEMBER DAY LINUX 2.4 RELEASED

Long-Awaited Operating System Upgrade Not Up There with JFK Assassination SANTA CLARA, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In a study hardcore computer enthusiasts find “repulsive and unconscionable,” at least 99.9 percent of the general population will have no [Read More]

SO LONG DOT-COM, HELLO DOT-MUSEUM!

SO LONG DOT-COM, HELLO DOT-MUSEUM!

ICANN Meets Urgent Demand by Adding .Aero, .Coop, and .Museum Domains MARINA DEL RAY, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In an historic vote Thursday, the agency that oversees the Internet address system chose seven new Top Level Domains to go with .com, .net, and .org – a [Read More]

NETIZEN FEARS HACKERS WILL STEAL HIS VISA CARD NO. 8099 0788 341 9800 EXP. 12/01

NETIZEN FEARS HACKERS WILL STEAL HIS VISA CARD NO. 8099 0788 341 9800 EXP. 12/01

New Privacy Study Reveals Consumer Concerns, Addresses, Phone Numbers CARSON CITY, NEV. (SatireWire.com) – Nelson Shank has been online since 1998, but according to a new report by the Internet Privacy Association, the 31-year-old database programmer has yet to make a [Read More]

GORE PUTS INTERNET UP FOR SALE ON EBAY

GORE PUTS INTERNET UP FOR SALE ON EBAY

Expects $400 Billion Bid for His Baby WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Vice President Al Gore has put the Internet up for sale on auction site eBay, explaining that while he will miss his creation, he needs money to duel Republican presidential contender George W. [Read More]

AT NEW BREED OF VERTICAL SEARCH ENGINES, THE RESULTS ARE COMING FAST AND FEW

AT NEW BREED OF VERTICAL SEARCH ENGINES, THE RESULTS ARE COMING FAST AND FEW

“Vearch” Sites Promise (and Deliver) Instant, Relevant Answers SEATTLE, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – Despite numerous refinements, most search engines still return too many results, but now a handful of new, highly vertical search sites promises to [Read More]

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Latest Topics

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s [Read More]

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps much worse than previously [Read More]

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing that President Obama’s executive action on gun control will lead to [Read More]

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

CLEMSON, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Donald Trump’s increasingly toxic rhetoric reached its natural conclusion today as [Read More]

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