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COURT ORDERS NAPSTER TO STOP AS SOON AS JUDGES FINISH DOWNLOADING PINK FLOYD, RICKY MARTIN

COURT ORDERS NAPSTER TO STOP AS SOON AS JUDGES FINISH DOWNLOADING PINK FLOYD, RICKY MARTIN

Napster Servers Too Busy for Judges to Get Songs They Wanted San Francisco, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In a 2-to-1 decision, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ordered song-swapping service Napster to stop trading copyrighted material as soon as the judges finish [Read More]

LAYOFFS, STOCK DROPS PROVE FIRMS BOASTING THEY’D BE “NEXT AMAZON” WERE RIGHT

LAYOFFS, STOCK DROPS PROVE FIRMS BOASTING THEY’D BE “NEXT AMAZON” WERE RIGHT

Some Even Outperform Amazon.com’s Underperformance Reston, Va. (SatireWire.com) – Investors know Internet companies often can’t back up their promises, but one common boast has some dot-com executives crowing “I told you so.” Several online [Read More]

MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP

MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP

Despite Gains in Market Share, Linux Firms To Call It Quits Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Chastened Linux executives pledged to stop their “crazy dreaming” and disband their efforts after an executive from Microsoft proclaimed Linux was doomed, and [Read More]

DOTCOM CHAIN LETTER REALLY WORKS!

With a Minimal Investment, Net Companies Finally Raking in Real Cash! *********************************************************** DO NOT DELETE THIS! Print it, and read it! THIS “PROGRAM” REALLY WORKS!! [Read More]

MOST WON’T REMEMBER DAY LINUX 2.4 RELEASED

MOST WON’T REMEMBER DAY LINUX 2.4 RELEASED

Long-Awaited Operating System Upgrade Not Up There with JFK Assassination SANTA CLARA, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In a study hardcore computer enthusiasts find “repulsive and unconscionable,” at least 99.9 percent of the general population will have no [Read More]

SO LONG DOT-COM, HELLO DOT-MUSEUM!

SO LONG DOT-COM, HELLO DOT-MUSEUM!

ICANN Meets Urgent Demand by Adding .Aero, .Coop, and .Museum Domains MARINA DEL RAY, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In an historic vote Thursday, the agency that oversees the Internet address system chose seven new Top Level Domains to go with .com, .net, and .org – a [Read More]

NETIZEN FEARS HACKERS WILL STEAL HIS VISA CARD NO. 8099 0788 341 9800 EXP. 12/01

NETIZEN FEARS HACKERS WILL STEAL HIS VISA CARD NO. 8099 0788 341 9800 EXP. 12/01

New Privacy Study Reveals Consumer Concerns, Addresses, Phone Numbers CARSON CITY, NEV. (SatireWire.com) – Nelson Shank has been online since 1998, but according to a new report by the Internet Privacy Association, the 31-year-old database programmer has yet to make a [Read More]

GORE PUTS INTERNET UP FOR SALE ON EBAY

GORE PUTS INTERNET UP FOR SALE ON EBAY

Expects $400 Billion Bid for His Baby WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Vice President Al Gore has put the Internet up for sale on auction site eBay, explaining that while he will miss his creation, he needs money to duel Republican presidential contender George W. [Read More]

AT NEW BREED OF VERTICAL SEARCH ENGINES, THE RESULTS ARE COMING FAST AND FEW

AT NEW BREED OF VERTICAL SEARCH ENGINES, THE RESULTS ARE COMING FAST AND FEW

“Vearch” Sites Promise (and Deliver) Instant, Relevant Answers SEATTLE, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – Despite numerous refinements, most search engines still return too many results, but now a handful of new, highly vertical search sites promises to [Read More]

NEW GOVERNMENT PORTAL DESIGN LEAKED

NEW GOVERNMENT PORTAL DESIGN LEAKED

“A new computer system will offer one-stop shopping for online information about the federal government, President Clinton said Saturday. Logging on to one Web site, firstgov.gov, will yield links to all federal information available publicly over the Internet, [Read More]

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Latest Topics

BOWING TO GOP PRESSURE, OBAMA AGREES TO BE EMPEROR OF AMERICA

BOWING TO GOP PRESSURE, OBAMA AGREES TO BE EMPEROR OF AMERICA

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After repeatedly being labeled a dictator by Republicans and conservative media, [Read More]

SURVEY: MOST AMERICANS OK WITH YOU BEING QUARANTINED

SURVEY: MOST AMERICANS OK WITH YOU BEING QUARANTINED

NEW JERSEY (SatireWire.com) – A new poll shows nine in 10 Americans support a mandatory quarantine for someone who [Read More]

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

OKLAHOMA CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In a brutal and stunning offensive, thousands of Hobby Lobby employees and customers, [Read More]

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

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