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MAD COWS USE CELL PHONES

MAD COWS USE CELL PHONES

Researchers Claim Discovery Solves Mystery Disease Kent, England (SatireWire.com) – In another blow to the cellular industry, British scientists studying Mad Cow disease claim to have discovered the source of the mysterious affliction after catching a pair of Friesian [Read More]

COMPANIES RETOOLING FOR GINGER-BASED ECONOMY

COMPANIES RETOOLING FOR GINGER-BASED ECONOMY

Intel Wants to Form Gintel Alliance; Greenspan Warns of “Ginger Bubble” MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – Although only a handful of people know the secret identity of “Ginger” – a product that reportedly will be “more important [Read More]

CAR PHONE SAFETY: SCREAM “AAHH!” BEFORE IMPACT

CAR PHONE SAFETY: SCREAM “AAHH!” BEFORE IMPACT

Cell Phone Industry Group Launches Public Service Campaign NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Under pressure to do something about car accidents involving cell phones, the industry-backed Cell Phone Safety Council today launched a public service campaign urging users [Read More]

CONSULTANCY WINS “E-GURGITATE” AWARD

CONSULTANCY WINS “E-GURGITATE” AWARD

Firm Issues 1000th Study on How Big Corporations Lag the Internet STAMFORD, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – Consulting firm META Group made history today after an independent panel of judges confirmed its new report — E-Reality Sets In — was the 1,000th study to [Read More]

COMPUTER VIRUS MAKING TO BE PROSECUTED AS HATE CRIME FOR TARGETING STUPID PEOPLE

COMPUTER VIRUS MAKING TO BE PROSECUTED AS HATE CRIME FOR TARGETING STUPID PEOPLE

Systems Administrators Now On Front Lines of Bias Crime Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – With yet another email virus spreading across the globe, 41 U.S. states and six European countries today announced that the act of creating an attachment-based computer virus [Read More]

65 COMPUTERS SEIZED IN SOFTWARE PIRACY CRACKDOWN

65 COMPUTERS SEIZED IN SOFTWARE PIRACY CRACKDOWN

“Law enforcement officials on Tuesday launched a crackdown on Internet piracy of software programmes, seizing at least 65 computers.” – Financial Times, Dec. 12, 2001. Only 299,999,935 Computers Still Left to Confiscate Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) [Read More]

HACKERS BEG BORING PEOPLE TO STOP ENCRYPTING EMAIL

HACKERS BEG BORING PEOPLE TO STOP ENCRYPTING EMAIL

Security Experts Concur Most of You Have Nothing Worth Encrypting Anyway San Jose, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – In an unusual worldwide appeal, the International Brotherhood of Computer Hackers today asked particularly boring people to please stop encrypting their [Read More]

SPAMTHRAX – CONTRACTING ANTHRAX VIA EMAIL

SPAMTHRAX – CONTRACTING ANTHRAX VIA EMAIL

Also Information on Net Evacuation, Bayer’s Production of e-Cipro Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The FBI today did not issue an alert for electronically disseminated anthrax, also known as “spamthrax,” because anthrax cannot be propagated [Read More]

PARENTS SAY WEB SITES TEACH FUCKING PROFANITY

PARENTS SAY WEB SITES TEACH FUCKING PROFANITY

Demand Laws Prohibiting Obscene Shit Their Kids Are Picking Up Online Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – A coalition of parenting groups today urged Congress to introduce a more stringent Communications Decency Act, arguing that profanity-filled Web sites are a bad [Read More]

e.e. commerce: Poet Laureate of the Internet

e.e. commerce: Poet Laureate of the Internet

His Words Enlighten and Encourage the E-Way of Life NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – At eToys, it is said, chief executive Toby Lenk keeps a copy of the searching, evocative i:opt:in stapled to his chest. At Amazon.com, CEO Jeff Bezos has wept openly while reading [Read More]

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Latest Topics

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republicans picked up a major endorsement today as the world’s leading patient-based health [Read More]

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Overlooked as scandals swirl around other agencies, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service said today it [Read More]

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- A contrite Apple Inc. today admitted it was to blame for the suggestion by Rep. Jason [Read More]

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