Sci/Tech
MYSTERY DISEASE AFFECTS ONE IN NEARLY EVERY HUMAN BEING
ATLANTA (SatireWire) -- It is known by many names: Common Fulgent Peplepsia, The Kitchen Dropsy, Male Pattern Balls Cup, Mazelcoffin, and Screamy Screamy Run Run, but one thing is certain: Aparalytic Contradysfunctional Exoficial Disorder affects one in nearly every human [Read More]
NASA TURNS OFF SPACE TELESCOPES, GOES OUTSIDE
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Saying everyone had spent more than enough time sitting in front of computer screens and TV monitors, NASA today abruptly turned off all its space telescopes and satellites and told scientists to go outside, for God’s sake. [Read More]
DESIGNER #HASHTAGS THE LATEST TREND IN TRENDING
NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – The common #hashtag, once the telltale sign of what’s hot online, is on the way out. In its place, the designer hashtag – bold, colorful, often playful symbols that tell Twitter, Tumblr and the rest that not only are you on top of [Read More]
INTO THE GREAT ABOVE: THE CICADA STORY
There are a billion stories in cicada city. Some of them are long and some of them are short. Well, actually, all of them are short. Relatively. They're cicadas, not sea turtles. Point is, these are a few of those stories. [Read More]
INDIGENOUS MARTIANS THRILLED AT PROSPECT OF BEING COLONIZED
OUT THERE (SatireWire.com) – Word that a private aerospace company is launching a mission to colonize Mars has reached the Red Planet, where the local life forms say they're thrilled at the prospect of being colonized by humans, who have such a strong track record of [Read More]
U.S. BRAIN MAPPING PROJECT TO BE BASED ON APPLE MAPS
CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- Apple today announced its mapping software will be used in the government’s new $100 billion brain mapping project, a decision that has already produced breakthroughs as the software shows the brain is located not inside the human skull [Read More]
ROCK HARD ASTEROID LONGS TO EXPLODE ALL OVER EARTH
"C'mon baby, you know you want me," says Asteroid 2012 DA14 [Read More]
ADM PRODUCES PIG MADE ENTIRELY OF CHICKEN
DECATUR, IL. (SatireWire.com) -- Agribusiness giant Archer Daniels Midland today announced it has successfully produced a pig made entirely of chicken. [Read More]
SKYDIVER BREAKS RECORD FOR FREE-FALL SWEARING
ROSWELL, N.M. (SatireWire.com) -- In a giant leap from the edge of space Sunday, Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner shattered records for supersonic speed, high altitude jumping, and free-fall swearing in a nerve-wracking, 24-mile plunge to Earth. [Read More]
MEN LINING UP FOR LIFE-EXTENDING CASTRATIONS
NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Only a day after a new study revealed that castrated men live significantly longer lives, surgical centers around the country were swamped with men demanding to have their testicles removed. [Read More]
