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CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy formed at the very beginning of time, nearly 6,000 years ago. [Read More]

HACKED FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS MAY EXPLAIN BILLIONS OF INANE POSTS

HACKED FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS MAY EXPLAIN BILLIONS OF INANE POSTS

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Investigators who learned hackers stole millions of user passwords from Facebook and other sites said today account hijacking may finally explain the massive number of mind-numbing Facebook posts appearing on the site every day. [Read More]

MYSTERY DISEASE AFFECTS ONE IN NEARLY EVERY HUMAN BEING

MYSTERY DISEASE AFFECTS ONE IN NEARLY EVERY HUMAN BEING

ATLANTA (SatireWire) -- It is known by many names: Common Fulgent Peplepsia, The Kitchen Dropsy, Male Pattern Balls Cup, Mazelcoffin, and Screamy Screamy Run Run, but one thing is certain: Aparalytic Contradysfunctional Exoficial Disorder affects one in nearly every human [Read More]

NASA TURNS OFF SPACE TELESCOPES, GOES OUTSIDE

NASA TURNS OFF SPACE TELESCOPES, GOES OUTSIDE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Saying everyone had spent more than enough time sitting in front of computer screens and TV monitors, NASA today abruptly turned off all its space telescopes and satellites and told scientists to go outside, for God’s sake. [Read More]

DESIGNER #HASHTAGS THE LATEST TREND IN TRENDING

DESIGNER  #HASHTAGS THE LATEST TREND IN TRENDING

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – The common #hashtag, once the telltale sign of what’s hot online, is on the way out. In its place, the designer hashtag – bold, colorful, often playful symbols that tell Twitter, Tumblr and the rest that not only are you on top of [Read More]

INTO THE GREAT ABOVE: THE CICADA STORY

INTO THE GREAT ABOVE: THE CICADA STORY

There are a billion stories in cicada city. Some of them are long and some of them are short. Well, actually, all of them are short. Relatively. They're cicadas, not sea turtles. Point is, these are a few of those stories. [Read More]

INDIGENOUS MARTIANS THRILLED AT PROSPECT OF BEING COLONIZED

INDIGENOUS MARTIANS THRILLED AT PROSPECT OF BEING COLONIZED

OUT THERE (SatireWire.com) – Word that a private aerospace company is launching a mission to colonize Mars has reached the Red Planet, where the local life forms say they're thrilled at the prospect of being colonized by humans, who have such a strong track record of [Read More]

U.S. BRAIN MAPPING PROJECT TO BE BASED ON APPLE MAPS

U.S. BRAIN MAPPING PROJECT TO BE BASED ON APPLE MAPS

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- Apple today announced its mapping software will be used in the government’s new $100 billion brain mapping project, a decision that has already produced breakthroughs as the software shows the brain is located not inside the human skull [Read More]

ROCK HARD ASTEROID LONGS TO EXPLODE ALL OVER EARTH

ROCK HARD ASTEROID LONGS TO EXPLODE ALL OVER EARTH

"C'mon baby, you know you want me," says Asteroid 2012 DA14 [Read More]

ADM PRODUCES PIG MADE ENTIRELY OF CHICKEN

ADM PRODUCES PIG MADE ENTIRELY OF CHICKEN

DECATUR, IL. (SatireWire.com) -- Agribusiness giant Archer Daniels Midland today announced it has successfully produced a pig made entirely of chicken. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

OKLAHOMA CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In a brutal and stunning offensive, thousands of Hobby Lobby employees and customers, [Read More]

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

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