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COLA WARS

COLA WARS

Atlanta (Satirewire.com) - Despite pressure from shareholders and the company’s public relations department, Coca-Cola chairman and CEO Douglas Daft continues to go by the name Douglas Daft. Purchase, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) - In an attempt to keep pace with main soft [Read More]

‘GRAY LADY’ NO LADY

‘GRAY LADY’ NO LADY

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) - Boasting “The Gray Lady is a lady no more,” Howard Stern’s Private Parts Media Corp. announced today it will buy The New York Times and rename it the New York Hot Bitch. The $980 million purchase of the venerable Times [Read More]

FONDA PICKED UP

FONDA PICKED UP

Santa Clara, Cal. (Satirewire.com) – In its much-anticipated response to AOL’s buyout of both Time Warner and Ted Turner’s TBS, Yahoo announced this morning it will acquire actress Jane Fonda. AOL labeled the acquisition “sloppy seconds.” [Read More]

GERBIL CRUELTY DENIED

GERBIL CRUELTY DENIED

Kent, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Online retailer Outpost.com, which last year ran controversial TV commercials showing gerbils being fired from a cannon, claimed today it never used actual gerbils. Instead, Outpost executives said, the company dressed week-old kittens [Read More]

OUR BOEING WHO ART IN HEAVEN

OUR BOEING WHO ART IN HEAVEN

Chicago (Satirewire.com) – United Airlines said it will fight a 9th District Appeals Court ruling yesterday that grants pilots and flight attendants the right to lead passengers in prayer during turbulence. Copyright © 2000-2009, SatireWire. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

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