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Business Briefs

Amazon Says Its Stock Price “Mislabeled”

Amazon Says Its Stock Price “Mislabeled”

Seattle, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Less than a week after Amazon.com fixed a pricing error that enabled customers to buy toys at deep discounts, the company announced today that due to another glitch in its ordering software, the price of its stock has been incorrectly [Read More]

Post Office Leading the Way In New “Paper Technology”

Post Office Leading the Way In New “Paper Technology”

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. Postal Service’s plan to print customer emails and send them as more expensive first-class mail may be the “tip of the iceberg,” according to analysts who predict that many other digital documents could [Read More]

Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Small technology companies weren’t nimble enough on Wall Street yesterday, taking another pounding as investors once again favored the stocks of big, lumbering, stupid companies. “The market is sluggish right now, and [Read More]

RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

San Francisco, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – After using the courts to keep Napster and MP3.com from freely distributing music over the Internet, the Recording Industry Association of America today asked a federal judge to stop people from humming or whistling copyrighted [Read More]

Taco Bell Chihuahua Fired; New Chalupa “Tastes Funny”

Taco Bell Chihuahua Fired; New Chalupa “Tastes Funny”

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – One week after falling sales caused Taco Bell to ditch its famous Chihuahua, the company unveiled a reformulated chalupa, described as a “crispy, flaky shell with sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes, and a new, tough-and-stringy meat [Read More]

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – As part of the staff cuts it announced yesterday, online auction site eBay said it will not release its employees outright, but will auction them off individually. To increase interest in the employees, who will come from the [Read More]

Yahoo Beats Analysts’ Estimates, Dogs

Yahoo Beats Analysts’ Estimates, Dogs

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) - Internet giant Yahoo!, which this week soundly beat analysts’ estimates, reportedly wasn’t satisfied and beat analysts’ dogs as well. Some analysts even reported getting wedgies. Said a very sore PaineWebber analyst Scott [Read More]

Russian-Pizza Hut Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

Russian-Pizza Hut Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – The Pizza Hut-sponsored Russian rocket carrying international space station equipment exploded while in orbit today, just days after its launch. Russian Space Agency officials immediately blamed the proton rocket’s [Read More]

Domino’s-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

Domino’s-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – After yesterday’s explosion of the Russian rocket sponsored by Pizza Hut, (see story), the Russian Space Agency this morning launched its backup rocket, sponsored by Dominoes, but the vehicle and its pilot, 17-year-old high [Read More]

Greenspan “I’m More Popular Than Jesus”

Greenspan “I’m More Popular Than Jesus”

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan, who told a London Evening Standard reporter last week he was “more popular than Jesus Christ,” apologized today to the world’s 600 million Roman Catholics, and asked [Read More]

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Latest Topics

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

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