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Business Briefs

Amazon Says Its Stock Price “Mislabeled”

Amazon Says Its Stock Price “Mislabeled”

Seattle, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Less than a week after Amazon.com fixed a pricing error that enabled customers to buy toys at deep discounts, the company announced today that due to another glitch in its ordering software, the price of its stock has been incorrectly [Read More]

Post Office Leading the Way In New “Paper Technology”

Post Office Leading the Way In New “Paper Technology”

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. Postal Service’s plan to print customer emails and send them as more expensive first-class mail may be the “tip of the iceberg,” according to analysts who predict that many other digital documents could [Read More]

Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Small technology companies weren’t nimble enough on Wall Street yesterday, taking another pounding as investors once again favored the stocks of big, lumbering, stupid companies. “The market is sluggish right now, and [Read More]

RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

San Francisco, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – After using the courts to keep Napster and MP3.com from freely distributing music over the Internet, the Recording Industry Association of America today asked a federal judge to stop people from humming or whistling copyrighted [Read More]

Taco Bell Chihuahua Fired; New Chalupa “Tastes Funny”

Taco Bell Chihuahua Fired; New Chalupa “Tastes Funny”

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – One week after falling sales caused Taco Bell to ditch its famous Chihuahua, the company unveiled a reformulated chalupa, described as a “crispy, flaky shell with sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes, and a new, tough-and-stringy meat [Read More]

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – As part of the staff cuts it announced yesterday, online auction site eBay said it will not release its employees outright, but will auction them off individually. To increase interest in the employees, who will come from the [Read More]

Yahoo Beats Analysts’ Estimates, Dogs

Yahoo Beats Analysts’ Estimates, Dogs

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) - Internet giant Yahoo!, which this week soundly beat analysts’ estimates, reportedly wasn’t satisfied and beat analysts’ dogs as well. Some analysts even reported getting wedgies. Said a very sore PaineWebber analyst Scott [Read More]

Russian-Pizza Hut Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

Russian-Pizza Hut Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – The Pizza Hut-sponsored Russian rocket carrying international space station equipment exploded while in orbit today, just days after its launch. Russian Space Agency officials immediately blamed the proton rocket’s [Read More]

Domino’s-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

Domino’s-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – After yesterday’s explosion of the Russian rocket sponsored by Pizza Hut, (see story), the Russian Space Agency this morning launched its backup rocket, sponsored by Dominoes, but the vehicle and its pilot, 17-year-old high [Read More]

Greenspan “I’m More Popular Than Jesus”

Greenspan “I’m More Popular Than Jesus”

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan, who told a London Evening Standard reporter last week he was “more popular than Jesus Christ,” apologized today to the world’s 600 million Roman Catholics, and asked [Read More]

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PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

(SatireWire.com) After doing his part to swing the U.S. election for Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin has [Read More]

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) - In the latest staff shakeup, President-elect Donald Trump today reportedly replaced key [Read More]

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

RICHMOND, VA – Donald Trump’s shock election has dramatically shifted the political landscape in the home of [Read More]

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Pushed to the limits of pain by an election that was initially entertaining but [Read More]

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

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