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Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Initially saddened and confused by this week’s strong earnings report from Microsoft, which gave it little to criticize, the media rebounded strongly today, noting the release had “numerous” typos and grammatical [Read More]

Consumer Confidence Erodes, Falls into Ocean

Consumer Confidence Erodes, Falls into Ocean

Nags Head, N.C. (SatireWire.com) – Consumer Confidence, noticeably eroding over the past several months, finally succumbed today as a giant wave of economic uncertainty sent it toppling into the Atlantic Ocean. Federal officials, who just weeks ago unveiled a $23 [Read More]

SatireWire to Lay Off Half of Staff

SatireWire to Lay Off Half of Staff

New Haven, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to appear in sync with the Internet economy, online humor site SatireWire today announced it will lay off 50 percent of its staff, or approximately one person, by year’s end. According to SatireWire editor Treat [Read More]

Company Spokespeople Say Combined Merger Won’t Lead to Surplus Excess of Redundant, Overlapping Spokespeople Job Positions

Company Spokespeople Say Combined Merger Won’t Lead to Surplus Excess of Redundant, Overlapping Spokespeople Job Positions

Redwood City, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – Spokespersons for Phone.com and Software.com, which plan to merge in a $6.4 billion deal, insisted today the combined merger won’t lead to a surplus excess of redundant, overlapping spokespeople job positions. According to [Read More]

Dot-Coms Sick of All the Survivor Analogies

Dot-Coms Sick of All the Survivor Analogies

San Francisco, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Executives at nearly a dozen flailing Internet companies said today they were “sick and tired” of all the analogies to the CBS show Survivor, and just hope it all comes to an end now that the show is over. “It [Read More]

Microsoft Wants Case Heard By OJ Jury

Microsoft Wants Case Heard By OJ Jury

Washingon, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a clarifying brief, Microsoft today urged the Supreme Court not to hear its antitrust case, but to send it to the jury from the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, a move that, Microsoft argued, would ensure that the software giant [Read More]

Parker Bros. Replaces Monopoly Money With Cheaper Euro

Parker Bros. Replaces Monopoly Money With Cheaper Euro

Beverly, Mass. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to cut production costs associated with its famous Monopoly board game, Parker Brothers announced today it will replace its colorful play dollars with the Euro, a form of cheap fake money widely used in Europe. According [Read More]

New M&Enemas® Provide Instant Sugar Fix

New M&Enemas® Provide Instant Sugar Fix

Hackettstown, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Need a little sugar kick going into that meeting but don’t want to wait the 90 seconds it normally takes for the sugar to get into your system? Mars, Inc. thinks it has the highly soluble solution. The company today unveiled [Read More]

Morgan Stanley Misses Estimates Dearly

Morgan Stanley Misses Estimates Dearly

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In an earnings statement that surprised analysts, Morgan Stanley Dean Witter announced this week it missed its third quarter estimates, and wishes like hell they would come back. “We’re now looking at estimates for the [Read More]

2001 Mazda Metaphor a Hit with Symbolic Car Buyers

2001 Mazda Metaphor a Hit with Symbolic Car Buyers

Detriot, Mich. (SatireWire.com) – Targeting consumers who would like a new car but can’t afford one, Mazda yesterday introduced the 2001 Metaphor – a vehicle the company described as a sporty, two-door convertible, but which on initial inspection appears [Read More]

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Latest Topics

JOHN GLENN (RIP): ‘I CLAIMED EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

JOHN GLENN (RIP): ‘I CLAIMED EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

COLUMBUS, OHIO (SatireWire.com) -- Fifty years after becoming the first American to orbit Earth, John Glenn, who died [Read More]

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

(SatireWire.com) After doing his part to swing the U.S. election for Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin has [Read More]

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) - In the latest staff shakeup, President-elect Donald Trump today reportedly replaced key [Read More]

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

RICHMOND, VA – Donald Trump’s shock election has dramatically shifted the political landscape in the home of [Read More]

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Pushed to the limits of pain by an election that was initially entertaining but [Read More]

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