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Intl-Briefs

Mullah Omar Apparently Fuzzy on the “We” Thing

Mullah Omar Apparently Fuzzy on the “We” Thing

Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – Declaring “We are ready to face these Americans,” well-hidden Taliban leader Mullah Omar urged his followers to “fight to the death” on Wednesday in statements that led many Taliban soldiers to question [Read More]

Bin Laden Rookie Card Drops in Value

Bin Laden Rookie Card Drops in Value

Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – The value of Osama bin Laden’s rookie card has dropped nearly in half in the past week, as experts say the once-hot collectible appears to be in the midst of a late fall swoon along with the veteran lefty and his al Qaeda [Read More]

World Bank Wants to Help Afghans Amass Staggering Debt Burden

World Bank Wants to Help Afghans Amass Staggering Debt Burden

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The World Bank this week said it plans to extend loans to rebuild Afghanistan once a new government is installed, a pledge bank officials and Afghan opposition leaders agree virtually ensures that the war-torn country’s [Read More]

Taliban Spokesman Bets On U.S. Win

Taliban Spokesman Bets On U.S. Win

Islamabad, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – High-ranking Taliban official Sohail Shaheen challenged the United States to launch a major ground assault on his country on Friday, insisting that “15 or 20 (U.S.) troops will be able to do nothing. If they want to send in [Read More]

French Strike for Greater Productivity

French Strike for Greater Productivity

Paris (SatireWire.com) – Angered over reports that California’s economy has surpassed that of France, dozens of French labor unions staged a massive, nationwide strike Friday, demanding the government investigate possible causes of the country’s low [Read More]

Argentine Minsiter Hated That Dog

Argentine Minsiter Hated That Dog

Buenos Aires, Argentina (SatireWire.com) – Argentine Economy Minister Domingo Cavallo, who last week said he wanted to tie the Argentine peso to both the dollar and the euro, changed his mind this week and announced he intended to tie the peso to the neck of his [Read More]

Parker Bros. Replaces Monopoly Money With Cheaper Euro

Parker Bros. Replaces Monopoly Money With Cheaper Euro

Beverly, Mass. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to cut production costs associated with its famous Monopoly board game, Parker Brothers announced today it will replace its colorful play dollars with the Euro, a form of cheap fake money widely used in Europe. According [Read More]

Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

Los Angeles (SatireWire.com) – Former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl once again finished dead last in the latest PornoMetrix survey, which tracks the use of naked celebrity images on pornographic sites. According to PornoMetrix, naked or provocative pictures of the [Read More]

Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual State For Only $49.95 a Month

Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual State For Only $49.95 a Month

Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Proposing a compromise he hopes will ensure his nation’s security, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak announced Israel will allow the Palestinians to form an independent nation, but only on the Internet. The offer calls for the [Read More]

Starving, Dying Poor to Get Much-Needed Net Access

Starving, Dying Poor to Get Much-Needed Net Access

Okinawa, Japan (SatireWire.com) – The world’s poorest nations reacted with elation yesterday after learning the G-8 economic powers have pledged to bring them into the digital economy by wiring their countries. “With access to stock quotes, entertainment [Read More]

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Latest Topics

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s [Read More]

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps much worse than previously [Read More]

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing that President Obama’s executive action on gun control will lead to [Read More]

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

CLEMSON, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Donald Trump’s increasingly toxic rhetoric reached its natural conclusion today as [Read More]

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