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SHARP SHEEP

SHARP SHEEP

Leeds, England (SatireWire.com) - The British Beef Export Council, finally conceding it cannot guarantee the eradication of Mad Cow Disease, announced today it will discontinue cow production and instead promote the export of genetically-engineered sheep with razor-sharp, [Read More]

MORE DELAYS: IRAQ NOW SAYS U.S. MUST PUBLISH “INTENT TO ATTACK” NOTICE IN BAGHDAD PAPER

MORE DELAYS: IRAQ NOW SAYS U.S. MUST PUBLISH “INTENT TO ATTACK” NOTICE IN BAGHDAD PAPER

U.S. Also Needs Invasion, Demolition, Military Housing Permits Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Already frustrated by seemingly endless delays, U.S. officials today conceded a confusing knot of new Iraqi regulations that require “non-resident [Read More]

OVEREAGER, CANADA SENDS SMOKESCREEN OVER U.S. BEFORE CANADIAN INVASION PLANS FINISHED

OVEREAGER, CANADA SENDS SMOKESCREEN OVER U.S. BEFORE CANADIAN INVASION PLANS FINISHED

“Propelled by strong winds from the north, the fires have created a plume of smoke from Michigan to Massachusetts that’s visible as far south as Washington, D.C.” – National Post, Canada, July 8, 2002 Canada Also Discloses It Has Invaded U.S. 113 [Read More]

BUSH LAYS OUT TOUGH TERMS FOR PALESTINE TO MAKE WORLD CUP BY 2006

BUSH LAYS OUT TOUGH TERMS FOR PALESTINE TO MAKE WORLD CUP BY 2006

Arab Neighbors Suddenly Opposed to New Country in Qualifying Rounds Kananaskis, Canada (SatireWire.com) – U.S. President George Bush today said Palestinians should elect new leaders and adopt sweeping reforms if they wish to establish an independent state that would [Read More]

GREENPEACE WILL NOW OPPOSE EVERYTHING

GREENPEACE WILL NOW OPPOSE EVERYTHING

Wendy Is Not a Dolphin, But Robert Is “It’s all bad, it all needs to stop,” said a Greenpeace spokesperson, who added the group will no longer send out action alerts calling for opposition to specific issues, but will instead issue daily alerts to all [Read More]

AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND “LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST”

AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND “LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST”

Citing High Recidivism Rates, However, Conservatives Still Call for Death Hindu Kush, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – Arguing the death penalty has not proven to be an effective deterrent, the staunchly liberal faction of the Al Qaeda terrorist network today urged the [Read More]

U.S., RUSSIA SIGN HISTORIC NUKE TREATY NEITHER SIDE PLANS TO ABIDE BY

U.S., RUSSIA SIGN HISTORIC NUKE TREATY  NEITHER SIDE PLANS TO ABIDE BY

Russia Can Include Warheads “It Can’t Find Just Now” in Cutbacks Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The United States and Russia Friday signed a treaty to dramatically reduce their nuclear arsenals, a pact observers hailed as one of the most [Read More]

RICH AWED BY POOR’S ABILITY TO LIVE LIKE THAT

RICH AWED BY POOR’S ABILITY TO LIVE LIKE THAT

“No Way We Could Do It,” Say Leaders of Wealthy Nations Monterrey, Mexico (SatireWire.com) – At a United Nations conference last week to address world poverty, dozens of leaders from the planet’s wealthiest nations concluded they were “totally [Read More]

U.S. PROMISES TO CONSULT ALLIES BEFORE DOING WHAT IT WAS GOING TO DO ANYWAY

U.S. PROMISES TO CONSULT ALLIES BEFORE DOING WHAT IT WAS GOING TO DO ANYWAY

Pledges Not to Move Alone Unless It Does Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bowing to international pressure not to act unilaterally, the United States reversed course today and promised to consult with its allies before doing whatever the hell it was going to do [Read More]

FRENCH JUDGE GIVES TALIBAN WIN

FRENCH JUDGE GIVES TALIBAN WIN

Afghan Fighters’ Artistic Impression Marks Mysteriously Higher Salt Lake City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Despite making what most observers agreed were “obvious technical errors,” such as surrendering, the Taliban were awarded victory in the [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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