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Bush Calls For Mideast Truce So U.S. Can Attack Iraq

Bush Calls For Mideast Truce So U.S. Can Attack Iraq

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Complaining that the window of opportunity was closing, an exasperated President Bush today called on Israelis and Palestinians to declare an immediate cease fire in order to allow the United States to invade Iraq. “Look, I [Read More]

Ships, Thatcher, No Longer “She”

Ships, Thatcher, No Longer “She”

London (SatireWire.com) – The shipping industry newspaper Lloyd’s List, one of the world’s oldest publications, announced Wednesday it will no longer use the feminine pronoun “she” when referring to ships, but would instead use the more neutral [Read More]

Zimbabwe Challenger Shocked at Loss; Also Beaten

Zimbabwe Challenger Shocked at Loss; Also Beaten

Harare, Zimbabwe (SatireWire.com) – Asked to comment Thursday about his loss to Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe in this week’s election, which has been called a fraud by many in the West, opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai said he was “shocked.” [Read More]

Al Qaeda Proposes $249.98 Military Budget

Al Qaeda Proposes $249.98 Military Budget

Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – In response to U.S. President George Bush’s $379 billion proposed military budget, which calls for high-tech weaponry such as pilotless spy aircraft and a missile shield, al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden proposed a $249.98 fiscal [Read More]

India Sends Message by Invading

India Sends Message by Invading

New Delhi, India (SatireWire.com) – In what observers say is likely to further strain already tense relations between the two countries, India today sent a stern message to neighboring Pakistan by invading it. Nearly two million Indian ground troops, supported by [Read More]

Putin Says We’re Indepedent, Says Media

Putin Says We’re Indepedent, Says Media

Moscow (SatireWire.com) – In a surprising show of support, Russian television stations today said they doubted President Vladimir Putin was attempting to crush dissent on Tuesday when he shut down the last nationwide TV station not run by the state. “President [Read More]

Argentina Institutes Presidential Draft

Argentina Institutes Presidential Draft

Buenos Aires (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to fill its depleting ranks of potential leaders, Argentina’s Congress today implemented a nationwide draft that requires all citizens age 18 and over to serve as the country’s president for a minimum of two [Read More]

AP, Reuters in Pitched Spelling Battle

AP, Reuters in Pitched Spelling Battle

London (SatireWire.com) – The war for Afghanistan intensified today as rival factions from Reuters and the Associated Press launched vicious attacks against one another over whether the United States is fighting Osama bin Laden’s al Qaeda network, or Osama bin [Read More]

Mullah Omar Apparently Fuzzy on the “We” Thing

Mullah Omar Apparently Fuzzy on the “We” Thing

Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – Declaring “We are ready to face these Americans,” well-hidden Taliban leader Mullah Omar urged his followers to “fight to the death” on Wednesday in statements that led many Taliban soldiers to question [Read More]

Bin Laden Rookie Card Drops in Value

Bin Laden Rookie Card Drops in Value

Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – The value of Osama bin Laden’s rookie card has dropped nearly in half in the past week, as experts say the once-hot collectible appears to be in the midst of a late fall swoon along with the veteran lefty and his al Qaeda [Read More]

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TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the [Read More]

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. [Read More]

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

FATHER: Son, did you steal $20 from your mother’s purse? SON: No. [Read More]

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

House Speaker Paul Ryan was rushed to a hospital today after negotiations over House and Senate tax reform bills caused [Read More]

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