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Bush Calls For Mideast Truce So U.S. Can Attack Iraq

Bush Calls For Mideast Truce So U.S. Can Attack Iraq

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Complaining that the window of opportunity was closing, an exasperated President Bush today called on Israelis and Palestinians to declare an immediate cease fire in order to allow the United States to invade Iraq. “Look, I [Read More]

Ships, Thatcher, No Longer “She”

Ships, Thatcher, No Longer “She”

London (SatireWire.com) – The shipping industry newspaper Lloyd’s List, one of the world’s oldest publications, announced Wednesday it will no longer use the feminine pronoun “she” when referring to ships, but would instead use the more neutral [Read More]

Zimbabwe Challenger Shocked at Loss; Also Beaten

Zimbabwe Challenger Shocked at Loss; Also Beaten

Harare, Zimbabwe (SatireWire.com) – Asked to comment Thursday about his loss to Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe in this week’s election, which has been called a fraud by many in the West, opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai said he was “shocked.” [Read More]

Al Qaeda Proposes $249.98 Military Budget

Al Qaeda Proposes $249.98 Military Budget

Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – In response to U.S. President George Bush’s $379 billion proposed military budget, which calls for high-tech weaponry such as pilotless spy aircraft and a missile shield, al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden proposed a $249.98 fiscal [Read More]

India Sends Message by Invading

India Sends Message by Invading

New Delhi, India (SatireWire.com) – In what observers say is likely to further strain already tense relations between the two countries, India today sent a stern message to neighboring Pakistan by invading it. Nearly two million Indian ground troops, supported by [Read More]

Putin Says We’re Indepedent, Says Media

Putin Says We’re Indepedent, Says Media

Moscow (SatireWire.com) – In a surprising show of support, Russian television stations today said they doubted President Vladimir Putin was attempting to crush dissent on Tuesday when he shut down the last nationwide TV station not run by the state. “President [Read More]

Argentina Institutes Presidential Draft

Argentina Institutes Presidential Draft

Buenos Aires (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to fill its depleting ranks of potential leaders, Argentina’s Congress today implemented a nationwide draft that requires all citizens age 18 and over to serve as the country’s president for a minimum of two [Read More]

AP, Reuters in Pitched Spelling Battle

AP, Reuters in Pitched Spelling Battle

London (SatireWire.com) – The war for Afghanistan intensified today as rival factions from Reuters and the Associated Press launched vicious attacks against one another over whether the United States is fighting Osama bin Laden’s al Qaeda network, or Osama bin [Read More]

Mullah Omar Apparently Fuzzy on the “We” Thing

Mullah Omar Apparently Fuzzy on the “We” Thing

Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – Declaring “We are ready to face these Americans,” well-hidden Taliban leader Mullah Omar urged his followers to “fight to the death” on Wednesday in statements that led many Taliban soldiers to question [Read More]

Bin Laden Rookie Card Drops in Value

Bin Laden Rookie Card Drops in Value

Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – The value of Osama bin Laden’s rookie card has dropped nearly in half in the past week, as experts say the once-hot collectible appears to be in the midst of a late fall swoon along with the veteran lefty and his al Qaeda [Read More]

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Latest Topics

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s [Read More]

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps much worse than previously [Read More]

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing that President Obama’s executive action on gun control will lead to [Read More]

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

CLEMSON, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Donald Trump’s increasingly toxic rhetoric reached its natural conclusion today as [Read More]

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