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WIKILEAKS: GITMO PRISONERS “THE NEW BLACK”

WIKILEAKS: GITMO PRISONERS “THE NEW BLACK”

BRUSSELS (SatireWire.com) – In order to coerce a reluctant and image-starved Belgium into taking a Guantanamo Bay detainee, the U.S. pledged the tiny nation friendship, popularity, and a cool second name, according to this classified embassy cable. [Read More]

POPE TO GET MITRE RIBBED

POPE TO GET MITRE RIBBED

VATICAN CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In the second revelation in as many days, Pope Benedict XVI announced today he not only supports condom use, but intends to promote the cause by getting his mitre ribbed. [Read More]

IRELAND BECOMES MOST LOVEABLE NATION TO FAIL

IRELAND BECOMES MOST LOVEABLE NATION TO FAIL

DUBLIN, IRELAND (SatireWire.com) -- Out of money and time, Ireland yesterday requested a financial bailout, becoming what analysts agreed is the most loveable country ever to go under. [Read More]

FUTURE QUEEN LOOKS FORWARD TO DESCENDING INTO LUNACY

FUTURE QUEEN LOOKS FORWARD TO DESCENDING INTO LUNACY

LONDON (SatireWire.com) – In the first interview since her engagement to Prince William, presumptive Queen Consort Kate Middleton said today she looks forward to becoming a full-fledged member of the British royal family by going insane. [Read More]

N. KOREA WARNED WITH RANDOM U.S. MISSILES

N. KOREA WARNED WITH RANDOM U.S. MISSILES

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA (SatireWire.com) -- In an unusually provocative and candid speech, President Barack Obama today demanded that North Korea abandon its nuclear program, warning the secretive nation, “Don’t fuck with us. We have missiles and shit that just go off on [Read More]

FRENCH STRIKES TO END AS PROTESTERS FORM UNION, TAKE MANDATED VACATION

FRENCH STRIKES TO END AS PROTESTERS FORM UNION, TAKE MANDATED VACATION

Paris (SatireWire.com) – Strikes that have rocked France for more than a month will abruptly end tomorrow as protesters announced they have all joined a protesters union and will immediately take the five-week vacation plus 20 sick days mandated in their contract. [Read More]

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA  FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL

BEIJING (SatireWire.com) -- Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush [Read More]

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) - After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, [Read More]

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead attack places they've actually heard of, such as France, [Read More]

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN… WAIT… CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN… WAIT…  CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?

ARABIAN SEA (SatireWire.com) -- Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax. "You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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