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N. KOREA APPARENTLY PLANS TO LITTER WORLD INTO SUBMISSION

N. KOREA APPARENTLY PLANS TO LITTER WORLD INTO SUBMISSION

PYONGYANG (SatireWire.com) -- North Korea on Thursday launched what appears to be a new type of disintegrating missile that officials warn could pose a significant threat to any nation other than the one it’s pointed at. [Read More]

U.S., ISRAEL AGREE ISRAEL DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT U.S. THINKS

U.S., ISRAEL AGREE ISRAEL DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT U.S. THINKS

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In what aides described as a “cordial, constructive” meeting on Iran’s nuclear threat, President Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu agreed Monday that Israel really doesn’t give a shit what the U.S. thinks. [Read More]

STUDY CONCLUDES BEIJING IS 13 HOURS AHEAD OF WASHINGTON

STUDY CONCLUDES BEIJING IS 13 HOURS AHEAD OF WASHINGTON

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A three-year government economic study has concluded the U.S. has fallen behind China because Beijing is 13 hours ahead of Washington and therefore knows what’s going to happen more than half a day before the United States. [Read More]

CNN ACCIDENTALLY AIRS FOOTAGE OF UPCOMING U.S.-IRAN WAR

CNN ACCIDENTALLY AIRS FOOTAGE OF UPCOMING U.S.-IRAN WAR

ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- Pentagon officials were furious with CNN today after the network failed to respect a media embargo and accidentally aired footage of a successful Navy missile strike from the third week of the upcoming U.S.-Iran war. [Read More]

CHINA TO MANUFACTURE CHEAPER AMERICAN BABIES

CHINA TO MANUFACTURE CHEAPER AMERICAN BABIES

BEIJING (SatireWire.com) – In a further blow to U.S. manufacturing, China today announced it will produce American babies at one-tenth the cost of its U.S. counterparts. [Read More]

BRITISH FREEDOM RIOTERS LIBERATE TVs, SHOES, COMPUTERS

BRITISH FREEDOM RIOTERS LIBERATE TVs, SHOES, COMPUTERS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) – The clarion of freedom that sounded across North Africa last Spring has finally reached Britain, where for the fourth straight night rioters wielded the bricks of revolution to break down the tyranny of shop windows and the despotism of display [Read More]

MURDOCH TO CLOSE SCOTLAND YARD

MURDOCH TO CLOSE SCOTLAND YARD

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Britain’s phone-hacking scandal has claimed another News International subsidiary as media baron Rupert Murdoch today told Parliament he will shut down Scotland Yard. [Read More]

CONGRESS CATCHES BIBI FEVER

CONGRESS CATCHES BIBI FEVER

CONCERT REVIEW (SatireWire.com) – As conservative Florida Congressman Allen West jostled toward his seat in the packed House, the excitement on his face was visible. So was the word “Bibi,” which he had scrawled across his forehead, in hot pink lipstick, with little [Read More]

‘ARAB SPRING’ IS SOOO OVER. THE ‘ARAB SUMMER’ FASHION FORECAST

‘ARAB SPRING’ IS <I>SOOO</I> OVER. THE ‘ARAB SUMMER’ FASHION FORECAST

The Arab Spring was all vibrant colors, fabulous youth, and self-expression. But that was sooo last season. Arab Summer is on the way, and our geopolitical design forecasters say it may feel less like Benetton and more like Ann Taylor. Sacreblech! [Read More]

IMF FALLOUT: FRENCH POLS UPSET SOME INFIDELITY OUT OF BOUNDS

IMF FALLOUT: FRENCH POLS UPSET SOME INFIDELITY OUT OF BOUNDS

PARIS (SatireWire.com) -- Sexual assault charges against IMF Chief and leading French presidential candidate Dominique Strauss-Kahn sent shockwaves across France today, where male politicians said they were ‘saddened and disgusted’ to learn that younger women might not [Read More]

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CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republicans picked up a major endorsement today as the world’s leading patient-based health [Read More]

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Overlooked as scandals swirl around other agencies, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service said today it [Read More]

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- A contrite Apple Inc. today admitted it was to blame for the suggestion by Rep. Jason [Read More]

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