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FRENCH JUDGE GIVES TALIBAN WIN

FRENCH JUDGE GIVES TALIBAN WIN

Afghan Fighters’ Artistic Impression Marks Mysteriously Higher Salt Lake City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Despite making what most observers agreed were “obvious technical errors,” such as surrendering, the Taliban were awarded victory in the [Read More]

ARAFAT, SHARON WALK OFF SET OF “ISRAEL”

ARAFAT, SHARON WALK OFF SET OF “ISRAEL”

Temperamental Stars Say They’re Tired of Playing Dogmatic Jerks Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Sources on the set of “Israel,” history’s longest-running drama, say irascible stars Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat [Read More]

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

“Get ready for a red, white and blue Olympics.” — Associated Press “Don’t Let Enemies of Freedom Celebrate Our Losses,” Says President Bush Park City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Saying there could be no greater blow to the enemies of [Read More]

FORMER CANNIBALS LONGING FOR COMFORT FOOD

FORMER CANNIBALS LONGING FOR COMFORT FOOD

KUBALUVA ISLANDS (SatireWire.com) - It's not just stressed-out Americans who are finding comfort in fatty, familiar foods these days, and police on this tiny Pacific atoll have a stack of missing persons reports to prove it. [Read More]

AFGHAN MOUNTAINS SURRENDER!

AFGHAN MOUNTAINS SURRENDER!

Those Who Said Bombs Wasted on Mountains Proved Wrong Pamir Knot, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – After weeks of relentless bombing that has taken a devastating toll, the mountains of Afghanistan unconditionally surrendered to the United States today. U.S. Defense [Read More]

U.S. TO HALT ATTACKS DURING HOLY MONTH OF HARRY POTTER MOVIE RELEASE

U.S. TO HALT ATTACKS DURING HOLY MONTH OF HARRY POTTER MOVIE RELEASE

West Anxious to Portray War As Fight Against Terrorism, Not Harry Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing a religious backlash that could undermine international support and intensify anti-American sentiment, the United States today announced it will halt attacks [Read More]

MILITANT MODERATES STAGE MASSIVE LACK OF PROTESTS

MILITANT MODERATES STAGE MASSIVE LACK OF PROTESTS

Police Not Called in to Put Down Mild and Ruly Crowds Across Middle East Karachi, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – Alarmed almost to the point of action, millions of radical moderates across the Middle East and Asia today didn’t take to the streets in what [Read More]

BRAWL ERUPTS AT WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM WEIGH-IN

BRAWL ERUPTS AT WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM WEIGH-IN

Gates Bites AOL Rival; Critics Call for End to “Weigh-In Circuses” New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – After a massive brawl involving hundreds of world leaders and business heavyweights, World Economic Forum organizers today said they may discontinue the [Read More]

ENRON ADMITS IT’S REALLY ARGENTINA

ENRON ADMITS IT’S REALLY ARGENTINA

Now Massive Ineptitude, Corruption Make More Sense, Analysts Say Houston, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Energy company Enron, which collapsed due to gross mismanagement and insurmountable debt, today confessed to what many observers had long suspected: it is actually [Read More]

BIN LADEN FEARED TO HAVE SEGWAY SCOOTER

BIN LADEN FEARED TO HAVE SEGWAY SCOOTER

Has Threatened to Produce Transportation Device of Mass Distribution Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – U.S. forces searching an abandoned Al Qaeda hideout today said they found diagrams of skateboards, gyroscopic technology, and a drawing of Osama bin Laden [Read More]

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PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

(SatireWire.com) After doing his part to swing the U.S. election for Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin has [Read More]

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) - In the latest staff shakeup, President-elect Donald Trump today reportedly replaced key [Read More]

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

RICHMOND, VA – Donald Trump’s shock election has dramatically shifted the political landscape in the home of [Read More]

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Pushed to the limits of pain by an election that was initially entertaining but [Read More]

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

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