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ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”

ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”

OVERLAND PARK, KAN. (SatireWire.com) -- “Sarcastic Sidelines” is back – the annual youth soccer weekend where the incessant gripes, jeers, and screams of parents make way for ironic applause, back-handed compliments, and absolutely insincere encouragement. [Read More]

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

Frankfurt, Germany (SatireWire.com) – In a surprising tactical shift, the frustrated European Central Bank announced yesterday it will no longer intervene to bolster the sagging euro, but will instead intervene in English Premier League football matches. Its first [Read More]

Priceline Launches “Name Price for Bail”

Priceline Launches “Name Price for Bail”

Stamford, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Priceline.com, which allows consumers to name their own price for airline tickets and mortgages, will launch a name-your-own-price for bail service, the company disclosed today. The service will initially be restricted to high-crime [Read More]

SOCCER-MAD U.S. CRAZED OVER WORLD CUP

SOCCER-MAD U.S. CRAZED OVER WORLD CUP

“What? No We’re Not,” Say Blindly Obsessed Americans New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – As World Cup fever grips the globe, nowhere is the mania for Earth’s greatest sporting event stronger than in the United States, where 280 million soccer-mad [Read More]

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

“Get ready for a red, white and blue Olympics.” — Associated Press “Don’t Let Enemies of Freedom Celebrate Our Losses,” Says President Bush Park City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Saying there could be no greater blow to the enemies of [Read More]

SO NOW GOD TAKES AN INTEREST IN ANSWERING NEW YORK’S PRAYERS?

SO NOW GOD TAKES AN INTEREST IN ANSWERING NEW YORK’S PRAYERS?

Two Months After 9/11 God Takes Yanks’ Side New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – The awe and wonder over miraculous World Series victories by baseball’s New York Yankees were dampened by growing cynicism today as residents said they couldn’t help but [Read More]

HOCKEY PROVIDES WELCOME RESPITE FROM VIOLENCE

HOCKEY PROVIDES WELCOME RESPITE FROM VIOLENCE

“Pro hockey is back to provide the thrills and excitement its fans want, and need, in light of the recent tragic events.” — Phil Coffey, NHL.com (official National Hockey League site) NHL SEASON OPENS Pittsburgh, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – The National [Read More]

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CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republicans picked up a major endorsement today as the world’s leading patient-based health [Read More]

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Overlooked as scandals swirl around other agencies, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service said today it [Read More]

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- A contrite Apple Inc. today admitted it was to blame for the suggestion by Rep. Jason [Read More]

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