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ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”

ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”

OVERLAND PARK, KAN. (SatireWire.com) -- “Sarcastic Sidelines” is back – the annual youth soccer weekend where the incessant gripes, jeers, and screams of parents make way for ironic applause, back-handed compliments, and absolutely insincere encouragement. [Read More]

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

Frankfurt, Germany (SatireWire.com) – In a surprising tactical shift, the frustrated European Central Bank announced yesterday it will no longer intervene to bolster the sagging euro, but will instead intervene in English Premier League football matches. Its first [Read More]

Priceline Launches “Name Price for Bail”

Priceline Launches “Name Price for Bail”

Stamford, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Priceline.com, which allows consumers to name their own price for airline tickets and mortgages, will launch a name-your-own-price for bail service, the company disclosed today. The service will initially be restricted to high-crime [Read More]

SOCCER-MAD U.S. CRAZED OVER WORLD CUP

SOCCER-MAD U.S. CRAZED OVER WORLD CUP

“What? No We’re Not,” Say Blindly Obsessed Americans New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – As World Cup fever grips the globe, nowhere is the mania for Earth’s greatest sporting event stronger than in the United States, where 280 million soccer-mad [Read More]

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

“Get ready for a red, white and blue Olympics.” — Associated Press “Don’t Let Enemies of Freedom Celebrate Our Losses,” Says President Bush Park City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Saying there could be no greater blow to the enemies of [Read More]

SO NOW GOD TAKES AN INTEREST IN ANSWERING NEW YORK’S PRAYERS?

SO NOW GOD TAKES AN INTEREST IN ANSWERING NEW YORK’S PRAYERS?

Two Months After 9/11 God Takes Yanks’ Side New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – The awe and wonder over miraculous World Series victories by baseball’s New York Yankees were dampened by growing cynicism today as residents said they couldn’t help but [Read More]

HOCKEY PROVIDES WELCOME RESPITE FROM VIOLENCE

HOCKEY PROVIDES WELCOME RESPITE FROM VIOLENCE

“Pro hockey is back to provide the thrills and excitement its fans want, and need, in light of the recent tragic events.” — Phil Coffey, NHL.com (official National Hockey League site) NHL SEASON OPENS Pittsburgh, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – The National [Read More]

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SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

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