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ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”

ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”

OVERLAND PARK, KAN. (SatireWire.com) -- “Sarcastic Sidelines” is back – the annual youth soccer weekend where the incessant gripes, jeers, and screams of parents make way for ironic applause, back-handed compliments, and absolutely insincere encouragement. [Read More]

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

Frankfurt, Germany (SatireWire.com) – In a surprising tactical shift, the frustrated European Central Bank announced yesterday it will no longer intervene to bolster the sagging euro, but will instead intervene in English Premier League football matches. Its first [Read More]

Priceline Launches “Name Price for Bail”

Priceline Launches “Name Price for Bail”

Stamford, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Priceline.com, which allows consumers to name their own price for airline tickets and mortgages, will launch a name-your-own-price for bail service, the company disclosed today. The service will initially be restricted to high-crime [Read More]

SOCCER-MAD U.S. CRAZED OVER WORLD CUP

SOCCER-MAD U.S. CRAZED OVER WORLD CUP

“What? No We’re Not,” Say Blindly Obsessed Americans New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – As World Cup fever grips the globe, nowhere is the mania for Earth’s greatest sporting event stronger than in the United States, where 280 million soccer-mad [Read More]

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

“Get ready for a red, white and blue Olympics.” — Associated Press “Don’t Let Enemies of Freedom Celebrate Our Losses,” Says President Bush Park City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Saying there could be no greater blow to the enemies of [Read More]

SO NOW GOD TAKES AN INTEREST IN ANSWERING NEW YORK’S PRAYERS?

SO NOW GOD TAKES AN INTEREST IN ANSWERING NEW YORK’S PRAYERS?

Two Months After 9/11 God Takes Yanks’ Side New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – The awe and wonder over miraculous World Series victories by baseball’s New York Yankees were dampened by growing cynicism today as residents said they couldn’t help but [Read More]

HOCKEY PROVIDES WELCOME RESPITE FROM VIOLENCE

HOCKEY PROVIDES WELCOME RESPITE FROM VIOLENCE

“Pro hockey is back to provide the thrills and excitement its fans want, and need, in light of the recent tragic events.” — Phil Coffey, NHL.com (official National Hockey League site) NHL SEASON OPENS Pittsburgh, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – The National [Read More]

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ALTERNATIVE PUERTO RICO THRIVING AFTER HURRICANE MARIA

ALTERNATIVE PUERTO RICO THRIVING AFTER HURRICANE MARIA

White House officials today said President Trump’s claim that his handling of Hurricane Maria was a “tremendous [Read More]

MORNING SHOW ‘FUCK NO, TALLAHASSEE’ TOPS TV RATINGS

MORNING SHOW ‘FUCK NO, TALLAHASSEE’ TOPS TV RATINGS

Just a month after changing its name from ‘Good Day, Tallahassee’ to ‘Fuck No, Tallahassee,’ WFPE’s early [Read More]

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

PRES. TRUMP: We’ll call ‘em cinderbacks. Or wetbricks. SESSIONS: We can poll the base to see which makes them [Read More]

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to keep Russia from interfering with democracy, the Trump administration today [Read More]

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

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