News. Ish.
Friday April 20th 2018    Become a Fan on Facebook   Follow Us On Twitter

Sports

NFL PLAYERS SAY INJURING OPPONENTS MEANT TO BE HUMOROUS

NFL PLAYERS SAY INJURING OPPONENTS MEANT TO BE HUMOROUS

NEW ORLEANS (SatireWire.com) -- Taking a page from Rush Limbaugh’s penitent play book, NFL defenders who won cash bounties for injuring opponents apologized today, explaining that the “kill shots” they took were simply awkward attempts at humor. [Read More]

JEREMY LIN SETS KNICKS RECORD FOR NOT SUCKING

JEREMY LIN SETS KNICKS RECORD FOR NOT SUCKING

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) – With seven consecutive strong games under his belt, point guard sensation Jeremy Lin has set a New York Knicks franchise record for not sucking. [Read More]

SENIOR COMMITS TO TELLING FOLKS HE WAS RECRUITED BY ALABAMA

SENIOR COMMITS TO TELLING FOLKS HE WAS RECRUITED BY ALABAMA

NORFOLK, VA. (SatireWire.com) -- Ending a dramatic 24 hours for college football, Jimmy Taswell-Berk, a second-string senior quarterback and one of the nation’s most mediocre high school players, has committed to telling drunk girls at parties that he was recruited by the [Read More]

JESUS LEAVES BRONCOS, SIGNS WITH PATRIOTS

JESUS LEAVES BRONCOS, SIGNS WITH PATRIOTS

BOSTON (SatireWire.com) – Tired of living in Tim Tebow’s shadow, Jesus Christ left the Denver Broncos today and signed as a free agent with the New England Patriots, who will face Denver in an intriguing AFC playoff game on Saturday. [Read More]

PENN STATE, SYRACUSE TO FACE OFF IN DENIAL BOWL

PENN STATE, SYRACUSE TO FACE OFF IN DENIAL BOWL

HOUSTON, TX (SatireWire.com) – Penn State and Syracuse will face each other in the inaugural BP-Herman Cain-Blackberry-Catholic Church Denial Bowl on Christmas morning, school officials announced today. [Read More]

RAYS PLAN PLAYER’S DEATH TO INSPIRE VICTORY

RAYS PLAN PLAYER’S DEATH TO INSPIRE VICTORY

TAMPA, FL (SatireWire.com) – Eight games behind the division leaders and losing confidence, the Tampa Bay Rays today announced one of their players will have to be killed in order to inspire the team to win the championship in his memory. [Read More]

NOAH APOLOGIZES, SAYS ANTI-GAY REMARK WAS TOTALLY GAY

NOAH APOLOGIZES, SAYS ANTI-GAY REMARK WAS TOTALLY GAY

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- In an in-depth interview on ESPN, Chicago Bulls forward Joakim Noah apologized again for making an anti-gay remark to a fan during a recent playoff game, saying his words were stupid and totally gay. [Read More]

BULLS GET CRUCIAL NEW TATTOOS DURING WIN

BULLS GET CRUCIAL NEW TATTOOS DURING WIN

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- The Chicago Bulls took game one from the Miami Heat 103-82 on Sunday thanks to hot shooting from point guard Derrick Rose and a crucial 3rd quarter timeout where the team got new tattoos. [Read More]

TIRED OF FAVRE, GOD COLLAPSES METRODOME

TIRED OF FAVRE, GOD COLLAPSES METRODOME

MINNEAPOLIS, MINN. (SatireWire.com) – Declaring He’s “about had it up to here,” a frustrated God said today the collapse of the Metrodome roof on Sunday was not a blessing in disguise for Brett Favre, but a rather obvious message, He thought, to the injured Vikings [Read More]

TIGER WOODS IS A TWIT(TER)

TIGER WOODS IS A TWIT(TER)

WINDEREMERE, FL (SatireWire.com) -- His reputation destroyed by addictions to sex and himself, Tiger Woods began using his Twitter account today, his advisors hoping a chatty, down-to-earth persona will somehow make people forget he's Tiger Woods. What follows is the [Read More]

 Page 2 of 3 « 1  2  3 »

Latest Topics

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the [Read More]

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. [Read More]

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

FATHER: Son, did you steal $20 from your mother’s purse? SON: No. [Read More]

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

House Speaker Paul Ryan was rushed to a hospital today after negotiations over House and Senate tax reform bills caused [Read More]

Recent Comments

DAN AND BENJI WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS | SatireWire | dot.com.edy had this to say

— In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human lives, but Read the post

Karlena's Blog - Satire had this to say

http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5649 Read the post

Karlena's Blog - Satire had this to say

http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5649 Read the post

Homepage had this to say

... ... Find More Informations here: satirewire.com/content1/?p=5549 ... Read the post

Weiner’s Weiner To Hold Press Conference Amid Growing Scandal | PARODY REPORT - The DRUDGE REPORT of Satire had this to say

Weiner Debacle Sparks Penis-Control Debate Read the post

Archives

Crazy Slots Casino