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REVIEW NAMES TOP 10 PARTY PRESCHOOLS

REVIEW NAMES TOP 10 PARTY PRESCHOOLS

Preparing for College Needs to Start Early, Say Publishers Princeton, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Already vilified for its collegiate Top 10 party school rankings, which some claim glorify drinking on campus, The Princeton Review today found itself once again under fire [Read More]

BILL ALLOWS PILOTS TO CARRY GUNS; NOW TWO THINGS IN COCKPIT WILL BE LOADED

BILL ALLOWS PILOTS TO CARRY GUNS; NOW TWO THINGS IN COCKPIT WILL BE LOADED

America West Crews Can Now Pop a Cap on a Cold One Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. House of Representatives this week overwhelmingly passed a bill allowing flight crews to carry guns aboard aircraft, a measure strongly supported by pilots, who boasted [Read More]

EDUCATORS FIGHT TO PROTECT SELF-ESTEEM OF GOOFY LOSER KIDS

EDUCATORS FIGHT TO PROTECT SELF-ESTEEM OF GOOFY LOSER KIDS

“In this game, there is a ‘victim’ or ‘It,’ which creates a self-esteem issue. The oldest or biggest child usually dominates.” – A California school principal explaining why the game “tag” was banned. ABCNews.com [Read More]

OBESE PASSENGERS DEMAND RIGHT TO EAT PERSON IN NEXT SEAT

OBESE PASSENGERS DEMAND RIGHT TO EAT PERSON IN NEXT SEAT

“Southwest Airlines is under fire for its policy of charging overweight passengers for two tickets if they spill over into their neighbor’s seat.” – AP, June 20, 2002 Policy Would Solve Overcrowding and Spare In-Flight Food Problems Washington, D.C. [Read More]

MEN DO TALK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

MEN DO TALK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

You Just Have to Know How to Listen New Haven, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – According to a new study, young women speak more frequently and frankly about sex and sex-related subjects than men do. However, males who took part in that same study have spoken out, claiming [Read More]

PIPE BOMBER ARRESTED, NATION’S MAILBOXES SAFE FOR BASHING AGAIN

PIPE BOMBER ARRESTED, NATION’S MAILBOXES SAFE FOR BASHING AGAIN

High School Football Players Across Midwest Ready to Return to Action Reno, Nev. (SatireWire.com) – The nation’s high school football players were still rejoicing today as the arrest of a suspect in a string of pipe bombings from Illinois to Texas has made [Read More]

WAS JESUS GOD’S NEPHEW? NEW SCANDAL ROCKS CHURCHES

WAS JESUS GOD’S NEPHEW? NEW SCANDAL ROCKS CHURCHES

“An Irish priest who has repeatedly stated he does not believe Jesus Christ was the son of God has resigned.” – CNN, May 8, 2002 Elders and Parishioners Knew About, Covered Up Heretical Opinions Dublin, Ireland (SatireWire.com) – In a scandal that [Read More]

RUDENESS SURVEY PROVES MOST AMERICANS REALLY WHINY

RUDENESS SURVEY PROVES MOST AMERICANS REALLY WHINY

Survey Finds Rudeness Gets Worse.” – AP, April 3, 2002 Majority of 2,000 Respondents Apparently Need to Seriously Get Laid or Something New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – According to a troubling new poll, nearly 80 percent of U.S. residents claim rudeness [Read More]

AMERICANS OUTRAGED THAT CORPORATIONS CHEAT JUST LIKE THEY DO

AMERICANS OUTRAGED THAT CORPORATIONS CHEAT JUST LIKE THEY DO

“Companies Should Be More Honest,” Says Nation That Walks Away<br>Quickly If Inadvertently Given Too Much Change by Cashier New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – From Enron to Global Crossing, Andersen to AIG, allegations that U.S. corporations have been [Read More]

“YOU MUST SATISFY YOUR QUEEN”

“YOU MUST SATISFY YOUR QUEEN”

Zoo Atlanta (SatireWire.com) -- Nations are at war. Economies are weak. Male strippers have officially entertained the Queen Mother. Humanity now faces, as Washington Irving once said so prophetically after falling down drunk into a cistern, a "dark hour of adversity." [Read More]

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CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republicans picked up a major endorsement today as the world’s leading patient-based health [Read More]

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Overlooked as scandals swirl around other agencies, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service said today it [Read More]

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- A contrite Apple Inc. today admitted it was to blame for the suggestion by Rep. Jason [Read More]

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