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ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”

ON “SARCASTIC SIDELINES” WEEKEND, YOUTH PLAYERS ARE “JUST AWESOME”

OVERLAND PARK, KAN. (SatireWire.com) -- “Sarcastic Sidelines” is back – the annual youth soccer weekend where the incessant gripes, jeers, and screams of parents make way for ironic applause, back-handed compliments, and absolutely insincere encouragement. [Read More]

Ambrose Calls Plagiarism Charges “Much Ado About Nothing”

Releases First Book of Original Poems, “Leaves of Grass” Helena, Mont. (SatireWire.com) – Stung by allegations of plagiarism, charges he called little more than “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,” famed historian and best-selling [Read More]

RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWS

RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWS

Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they have in fact created a race of 900 million people who, no matter how many times they are [Read More]

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead attack places they've actually heard of, such as France, [Read More]

OY, YOU NEVER VISIT YOUR MOTHER’S WEB SITE

OY, YOU NEVER VISIT YOUR MOTHER’S WEB SITE

Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) -- I'm thinking of divorcing your father. Oh, you didn't know that, Mr. I-have-no-time-for-the-woman-who-bore-me-and-taught-me-HTML? Well, if you ever bothered to drop by your mother's web site, just once in a while, spare just a few of your [Read More]

THE SOU’WESTER ALLIANCE: AFGHANISTAN’S FORGOTTEN WARRIORS

THE SOU’WESTER ALLIANCE: AFGHANISTAN’S FORGOTTEN WARRIORS

ZARANJ, AFGHANISTAN (SatireWire.com) -- As the dust and smoke of battle settled across Afghanistan, all eyes turned to the triumphant Northern and Eastern alliances, but there is another courageous Afghani confederation whose contributions have been all but lost in the [Read More]

POLICE MUST NOTIFY RESIDENTS WHEN CATHOLIC CHURCH MOVES INTO NEIGHBORHOOD

POLICE MUST NOTIFY RESIDENTS WHEN CATHOLIC CHURCH MOVES INTO NEIGHBORHOOD

Controversial “Egan’s Law” Expected to Gain Widespread Support Trenton, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Under a new law designed to protect minors, local police departments will now be required to inform residents any time a known Roman Catholic church moves [Read More]

CUBISTS LAUNCH UNNAVIGABLE WEB SITE

CUBISTS LAUNCH UNNAVIGABLE WEB SITE

Conceptual Realism Dominates Site No One Will Be Able to Use Anyway MADRID, SPAIN (SatireWire.com) – The International Society of Cubists officially launched its Web site today, a brilliant rejection of natural form and perspective that metaphysically establishes the [Read More]

Report That Pessimists Die Sooner No Big Surprise to Pessimists

“People who are overly pessimistic tend to have worse health long-term than their more positive peers, US researchers report.” – Reuters, Aug. 13 New York (SatireWire.com) – A study issued Tuesday claiming that pessimists have more long-term health [Read More]

Michael Jackson Still Thinks He’s Black

Michael Jackson Still Thinks He’s Black

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Appearing with the Rev. Al Sharpton over the weekend, pop star Michael Jackson slammed the music industry for its treatment of black artists, saying generations of black musicians have been manipulated by record companies. Black [Read More]

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TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the [Read More]

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. [Read More]

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

FATHER: Son, did you steal $20 from your mother’s purse? SON: No. [Read More]

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

House Speaker Paul Ryan was rushed to a hospital today after negotiations over House and Senate tax reform bills caused [Read More]

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