The Arts
‘ARAB SPRING’ IS SOOO OVER. THE ‘ARAB SUMMER’ FASHION FORECAST
The Arab Spring was all vibrant colors, fabulous youth, and self-expression. But that was sooo last season. Arab Summer is on the way, and our geopolitical design forecasters say it may feel less like Benetton and more like Ann Taylor. Sacreblech! [Read More]
OPRAH LAUNCHES “O2: THE OPRAH WINFREY SISTER”
CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- Oprah Winfrey, host of the Oprah Winfrey Show, chairman of the Oprah Winfrey Network, and founder of O: The Oprah Magazine, today announced her long-lost sister Patricia has agreed to be called O2: The Oprah Winfrey Sister. [Read More]
ARIZONA ACCUSED OF ‘TRAGEDIZING’ POLITICS
TUCSON, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- Accusing the Arizona shootings of callously "tragedizing" politics, hundreds of media pundits gathered in this stricken city today in a vigil for shallow partisanship and angry rhetoric, which they said have been victimized by the horrific [Read More]
FACEBOOK SURPASSES MASTURBATION
PALO ALTO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In yet another sign of its growing dominance, Facebook today announced it has surpassed masturbation as the world’s most popular way to kill 10 minutes. [Read More]
‘ISH’ FROM ENGLISH SECRETLY REPLACED BY ‘ISH’ FROM SPANISH
PHOENIX, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- The ‘ish’ in the word English has been secretly replaced by the ‘ish’ from the word Spanish, according to anti-immigration groups who claim it is part of the “relentless campaign to de-Anglicize America.” [Read More]
ELATED MCCAIN KISSES GENERALS AFTER TESTIMONY
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Three of the four U.S. armed service chiefs told lawmakers Friday they opposed an immediate repeal of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,’ but their testimony was cut short when repeal opponent Sen. John McCain, seemingly overjoyed with their [Read More]
POPE TO GET MITRE RIBBED
VATICAN CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In the second revelation in as many days, Pope Benedict XVI announced today he not only supports condom use, but intends to promote the cause by getting his mitre ribbed. [Read More]
AIRPORT SCREENERS NOT THRILLED ABOUT TOUCHING YOU EITHER
SAN DIEGO (SatireWire.com) -- Caught up in a privacy firestorm already immortalized by the phrase ‘Don’t touch my junk,’ airport screeners today pointed out that they’re not exactly thrilled to have to touch most of you, either. [Read More]
HISTORY MADE AS PASSENGERS RETURN FROM CRUISE LIGHTER
SAN DIEGO (SatireWire.com) -- After two harrowing days without an all-you-can-eat buffet, nearly 4,500 people stranded on a Carnival Cruise ship arrived in San Diego today, marking the first time passengers have ever returned from a cruise weighing less than when they left. [Read More]
AMERICANS NOT SURE THEY HAVE ENOUGH EXTRA HATE TO DEAL WITH BUSH JUST NOW
NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- George W. Bush has resurfaced to promote his new book “Decision Points,” but Americans say their hatred for political parties, the media, Wall Street, BP, the economy, tax cuts, Lady Gaga, and Newt Gingrich has left them with no room to get [Read More]
