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Dot-Coms Just Dying to Get Prized OTC Listings

Dot-Coms Just Dying to Get Prized OTC Listings

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In an emerging trend analysts are comparing to the IPO mania of 1998-1999, publicly-traded Internet companies are leaving the Nasdaq in a mad rush to have their struggling shares listed instead on the obscure Over-the-Counter stock [Read More]

Telecom Merger Will Create First “Single Phone Company”

Telecom Merger Will Create First “Single Phone Company”

San Antonio, Texas (SatireWire.com) – In a landmark decision expected to create an unprecedented “single, nationwide phone company,” a federal judge yesterday approved the merger of BellSouth, SBC, Sprint, Verizon, MCI, Qwest and 40 other communications [Read More]

Lieberman Sits Shiva For Dead Dot-Com

Lieberman Sits Shiva For Dead Dot-Com

Austin, Texas (SatireWire.com) – In an apparent effort to win support from the Internet industry, Democratic vice presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman sat shiva yesterday with executives of online furniture retailer living.com, which filed for bankruptcy this week. [Read More]

Lucent Finds New COO On Stock Message Boards

Lucent Finds New COO On Stock Message Boards

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Lucent Technologies today announced it has ended its search for a new chief operating officer with the surprise hiring of Stockpicker_Dude_78, a frequent poster on various Lucent stock message boards. “We interviewed about 20 [Read More]

Firestone Peels Back Prices In Tire Sale Blowout!

Firestone Peels Back Prices In Tire Sale Blowout!

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bridgestone- Firestone Inc. today announced the launch of a nationwide “tire sale blowout” on its P235/75R15 size radial ATX and ATX II tires, as well as its Wilderness AT line. According to the company, prices on nearly [Read More]

Firms Hire Jerks to Improve Customer Service

Firms Hire Jerks to Improve Customer Service

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Taking their cue from Internet companies that have recently hired hackers to improve site security, several struggling online firms announced today they will hire unbearably rude bastards in hopes that they will help improve customer [Read More]

Bush Pledges Republican Internet If Elected

Bush Pledges Republican Internet If Elected

Philadelphia, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – In a speech accepting his party’s nomination, George W. Bush pledged to wrest control of the Internet from its creator, Vice President Al Gore, and turn it into a “God-fearing, gun-filled, sexless, Republican [Read More]

Wrigley Launches “Internet Bubble” Gum®

Wrigley Launches “Internet Bubble” Gum®

Chicago, Ill. (SatireWire.com) – The world’s biggest chewing gum maker today unveiled Wrigley’s Internet Bubble Gum®, the “irrationally overpriced gum” that produces an “unsustainably large” bubble. The gum, which went on sale this [Read More]

Amazon Says Its Stock Price “Mislabeled”

Amazon Says Its Stock Price “Mislabeled”

Seattle, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Less than a week after Amazon.com fixed a pricing error that enabled customers to buy toys at deep discounts, the company announced today that due to another glitch in its ordering software, the price of its stock has been incorrectly [Read More]

Post Office Leading the Way In New “Paper Technology”

Post Office Leading the Way In New “Paper Technology”

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. Postal Service’s plan to print customer emails and send them as more expensive first-class mail may be the “tip of the iceberg,” according to analysts who predict that many other digital documents could [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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