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Lieberman Sits Shiva For Dead Dot-Com

Lieberman Sits Shiva For Dead Dot-Com

Austin, Texas (SatireWire.com) – In an apparent effort to win support from the Internet industry, Democratic vice presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman sat shiva yesterday with executives of online furniture retailer living.com, which filed for bankruptcy this week. [Read More]

Lucent Finds New COO On Stock Message Boards

Lucent Finds New COO On Stock Message Boards

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Lucent Technologies today announced it has ended its search for a new chief operating officer with the surprise hiring of Stockpicker_Dude_78, a frequent poster on various Lucent stock message boards. “We interviewed about 20 [Read More]

Firestone Peels Back Prices In Tire Sale Blowout!

Firestone Peels Back Prices In Tire Sale Blowout!

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bridgestone- Firestone Inc. today announced the launch of a nationwide “tire sale blowout” on its P235/75R15 size radial ATX and ATX II tires, as well as its Wilderness AT line. According to the company, prices on nearly [Read More]

Firms Hire Jerks to Improve Customer Service

Firms Hire Jerks to Improve Customer Service

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Taking their cue from Internet companies that have recently hired hackers to improve site security, several struggling online firms announced today they will hire unbearably rude bastards in hopes that they will help improve customer [Read More]

Bush Pledges Republican Internet If Elected

Bush Pledges Republican Internet If Elected

Philadelphia, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – In a speech accepting his party’s nomination, George W. Bush pledged to wrest control of the Internet from its creator, Vice President Al Gore, and turn it into a “God-fearing, gun-filled, sexless, Republican [Read More]

Wrigley Launches “Internet Bubble” Gum®

Wrigley Launches “Internet Bubble” Gum®

Chicago, Ill. (SatireWire.com) – The world’s biggest chewing gum maker today unveiled Wrigley’s Internet Bubble Gum®, the “irrationally overpriced gum” that produces an “unsustainably large” bubble. The gum, which went on sale this [Read More]

Amazon Says Its Stock Price “Mislabeled”

Amazon Says Its Stock Price “Mislabeled”

Seattle, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Less than a week after Amazon.com fixed a pricing error that enabled customers to buy toys at deep discounts, the company announced today that due to another glitch in its ordering software, the price of its stock has been incorrectly [Read More]

Post Office Leading the Way In New “Paper Technology”

Post Office Leading the Way In New “Paper Technology”

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. Postal Service’s plan to print customer emails and send them as more expensive first-class mail may be the “tip of the iceberg,” according to analysts who predict that many other digital documents could [Read More]

Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Small technology companies weren’t nimble enough on Wall Street yesterday, taking another pounding as investors once again favored the stocks of big, lumbering, stupid companies. “The market is sluggish right now, and [Read More]

RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

San Francisco, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – After using the courts to keep Napster and MP3.com from freely distributing music over the Internet, the Recording Industry Association of America today asked a federal judge to stop people from humming or whistling copyrighted [Read More]

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Latest Topics

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

In the last several days I have been called everything from “flawed” to “tragically dangerous,” and it hurts. I [Read More]

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Global warming followers the world over were outraged today after the U.N. failed to [Read More]

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

“People think it’s some grand, mysterious process, but honestly it’s not,” says one Yale University admissions [Read More]

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) -- After claiming the right to seize Crimea because of its Russian heritage, President Vladimir [Read More]

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

KIEV, UKRAINE (SatireWire.com) -- Leaders from Europe and the United States today declared time was up on Russian [Read More]

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