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SatireWire to Lay Off Half of Staff

SatireWire to Lay Off Half of Staff

New Haven, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to appear in sync with the Internet economy, online humor site SatireWire today announced it will lay off 50 percent of its staff, or approximately one person, by year’s end. According to SatireWire editor Treat [Read More]

Company Spokespeople Say Combined Merger Won’t Lead to Surplus Excess of Redundant, Overlapping Spokespeople Job Positions

Company Spokespeople Say Combined Merger Won’t Lead to Surplus Excess of Redundant, Overlapping Spokespeople Job Positions

Redwood City, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – Spokespersons for Phone.com and Software.com, which plan to merge in a $6.4 billion deal, insisted today the combined merger won’t lead to a surplus excess of redundant, overlapping spokespeople job positions. According to [Read More]

Dot-Coms Sick of All the Survivor Analogies

Dot-Coms Sick of All the Survivor Analogies

San Francisco, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Executives at nearly a dozen flailing Internet companies said today they were “sick and tired” of all the analogies to the CBS show Survivor, and just hope it all comes to an end now that the show is over. “It [Read More]

Microsoft Wants Case Heard By OJ Jury

Microsoft Wants Case Heard By OJ Jury

Washingon, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a clarifying brief, Microsoft today urged the Supreme Court not to hear its antitrust case, but to send it to the jury from the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, a move that, Microsoft argued, would ensure that the software giant [Read More]

Parker Bros. Replaces Monopoly Money With Cheaper Euro

Parker Bros. Replaces Monopoly Money With Cheaper Euro

Beverly, Mass. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to cut production costs associated with its famous Monopoly board game, Parker Brothers announced today it will replace its colorful play dollars with the Euro, a form of cheap fake money widely used in Europe. According [Read More]

New M&Enemas® Provide Instant Sugar Fix

New M&Enemas® Provide Instant Sugar Fix

Hackettstown, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Need a little sugar kick going into that meeting but don’t want to wait the 90 seconds it normally takes for the sugar to get into your system? Mars, Inc. thinks it has the highly soluble solution. The company today unveiled [Read More]

Morgan Stanley Misses Estimates Dearly

Morgan Stanley Misses Estimates Dearly

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In an earnings statement that surprised analysts, Morgan Stanley Dean Witter announced this week it missed its third quarter estimates, and wishes like hell they would come back. “We’re now looking at estimates for the [Read More]

2001 Mazda Metaphor a Hit with Symbolic Car Buyers

2001 Mazda Metaphor a Hit with Symbolic Car Buyers

Detriot, Mich. (SatireWire.com) – Targeting consumers who would like a new car but can’t afford one, Mazda yesterday introduced the 2001 Metaphor – a vehicle the company described as a sporty, two-door convertible, but which on initial inspection appears [Read More]

Vision of Greenspan Sighted in Tree

Vision of Greenspan Sighted in Tree

Eckbridge, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – Thousands of fiscally-orthodox bankers and economists gathered under a tree in this small southwestern Pennsylvania farm yesterday after three local girls claimed they saw a vision of Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan in [Read More]

Net Company to Hold Second IPO

Net Company to Hold Second IPO

San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – PeoplePC, whose initial public offering bombed last month, said today its first IPO shouldn’t count, and urged investors to return their shares so the company can try again. “Let’s do best two out of three,” [Read More]

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Latest Topics

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

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