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Californians Start Email Campaign for Energy Conservation

Californians Start Email Campaign for Energy Conservation

Sacramento, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Californians, faced with an energy crisis fueled by high-tech power consumption, have launched an email campaign urging fellow computer users to stay off their computers. Days after the state issued its first-ever Stage 3 Power [Read More]

CEO Surprises Employees

CEO Surprises Employees

Denver, Colo (SatireWire.com) – As the CEO of b2b software firm Archimetrix, Janine Radcliffe had a serious new economy problem. Despite organizing action teams to implement action plans, despite reducing the company’s mantra into a single, digestible sound-bite [Read More]

Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Sunnyvale, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In response to Intel’s statement that it will produce transistors only three atoms wide by 2005, rival chipmaker Advanced Micro Devices announced today that most of its employees are no more than 14 inches tall. AMD, however, [Read More]

GE Succession Losers Demand Recount

GE Succession Losers Demand Recount

Fairfield, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – The two General Electric executives who lost out when GE’s Jack Welch named Jeffrey Immelt to succeed him as CEO demanded that Welch recount his vote yesterday in an effort to ensure Welch’s true voice was heard. In [Read More]

Business-To-Unemployment (B2U) Dubbed Next Big Thing

Business-To-Unemployment (B2U) Dubbed Next Big Thing

San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – It’s taken a couple of years for the Next Big Thing in e-business to reveal itself, but after another massive wave of dot-com cutbacks this week, analysts have concluded the Internet is migrating toward a layoff-based business [Read More]

“Sponsorship Rectangles” Replace Banner Ads

“Sponsorship Rectangles” Replace Banner Ads

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprise concession, the Internet Advertising Bureau today acknowledged the banner ad is dead, but expressed confidence that its latest innovation, “Sponsorship Rectangles,” will spread quickly and reignite online [Read More]

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

European Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

Frankfurt, Germany (SatireWire.com) – In a surprising tactical shift, the frustrated European Central Bank announced yesterday it will no longer intervene to bolster the sagging euro, but will instead intervene in English Premier League football matches. Its first [Read More]

Microsoft Hacker Still A Mystery; Sun Releases Sun Office, Sun 2000

Microsoft Hacker Still A Mystery; Sun Releases Sun Office, Sun 2000

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft executives continued to insist today that whoever hacked into their computer system did not gain access to the source codes of its major products. However, Redmond officials conceded they may never learn the identity of the [Read More]

Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Initially saddened and confused by this week’s strong earnings report from Microsoft, which gave it little to criticize, the media rebounded strongly today, noting the release had “numerous” typos and grammatical [Read More]

Consumer Confidence Erodes, Falls into Ocean

Consumer Confidence Erodes, Falls into Ocean

Nags Head, N.C. (SatireWire.com) – Consumer Confidence, noticeably eroding over the past several months, finally succumbed today as a giant wave of economic uncertainty sent it toppling into the Atlantic Ocean. Federal officials, who just weeks ago unveiled a $23 [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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